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My DH had recently developed severe tremor, stutter stepping, frequent falls, inability to feed himself. These issues became increasingly debilitating. I hired home care help 2Xweek, 4 hrs a day; started PT and OT, made appt with Elder Law Atty, and started looking at facilities. It had become more than I could handle. On Friday, when the Social Worker was here, he stood up and waltzed around the house, had no tremor, and declared he did not believe he had Parkinson’s and I was just trying to get rid of him. I’m humiliated and frustrated. How does he go from requiring constant help to needing no help?

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I’m looking at your profile which says “six grown children, seven grandchildren” but “none visit due to fights with my husband”. Also that you are “getting burned out, angry, depressed, short tempered”, and that your “regular MD seems to be hesitant to document my DH’s disease”.

It reads as though your husband is a difficult man who certainly is capable both of showtiming and also of acting helpless. For your own sake, think about what is best for YOU, as well as for your husband. Perhaps the best thing for both of you is to go ahead with placement.
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Don't let this one incident sway from the course you feel is best for his well being. He is on a path of behavior which will without a doubt cause him severe harm just from the falls alone. If it is attention getting behavior alone, trained caregivers will know. It requires more than home care individuals see the real problem.
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Don't let this one incident sway from the course you feel is best for his well being. He is on a path of behavior which will without a doubt cause him severe harm just from the falls alone. If it is attention getting behavior alone, trained caregivers will know. It requires more than home care individuals see the real peroblem.
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The brain is a Funny Instrument - I Know some days my dad was completely Lucid and had great recall and other days struggled to find the correct words. He Had good and bad days .
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Showtiming?

https://lewywarriors.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/its-showtime/
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Is it possible that your husband got so used to someone - nurses, you, hired help - doing things for him that once he realized that the party was over and you were looking at facilities he stopped acting helpless?

I don't mean to offend but rather think that this is either a true miracle or he's grown quite comfortable being catered to at home.

How are your finances? How much longer can you continue to pay for help for your husband that he doesn't seem to need?
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I wonder if he was able to "showtime". Just get up enough energy to make the SW think he was OK.
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I myself sure don't get how that is possible, the waltzing about.
It is nothing I have ever seen with someone with advanced Parkinsons.
As to the Social Worker, he/she will have access to PT/OT/MD notes. So that will hopefully help.'
You are POA, aren't you P. Do you have your diagnostic papers from the MD incidicating hubby should be in care?
I am so sorry. This is very disconcerting, I know.
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Penguina Jan 18, 2024
thank you for answering. I appreciate your concern.
Our regular MD seems to be hesitant to document my DH’s disease though the neurologist diagnosed Parkinson’s and put him on medication. Our GP calls his issues “failure to thrive, slight tremor, and altered gait”. I had to ask several times for him to send a social worker to do an assessment so I could get services from Medicare.
The service we have now does recognize the neurologist diagnosis so they treat him as a Parkinson’s disease patient. Thank goodness they believe me.
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