My mom is getting hospice care. She feels the need to see a doctor but when she asked her husband when she sees the doctor again he said "you don't see the dr anymore, you have hospice care now. Is this right? Today she told my sister she wanted to go to the hospital, but I think she's afraid to say anything in front of her husband. He's older than her, has forgotten to give her her meds and seems to not want to give her anything stronger than vicodine, is this elder abuse?
Regardless, this poor woman is in pain, in the final few months of her life and is having to navigate hospice on her own - reaching out to get some frickin' relief from her pain. This both breaks my heart and makes me made as h*ll.
Honestly, I'm not blaming you. But isn't there anyone near by who can advocate for her?
Regardless-again - Can you or your sister call your mothers hospice provider and explain what's going on and ask for someone from her hospice team to go access the situation? Most hospice providers have a doctor, nurse, social worker and a clergy assigned to each patient- I'm sure they all have experience in exactly this same type of situation and can quickly step in and help your mother.
After all - this is exactly what hospice is for.
Hospice has a dr. Normally when a person is on hospice they have made a decision to forgo measures intended to try to cure a disease. They generally only take medication to keep them as comfortable as possible.
It's considered by the medical staff that the patient will not live beyond six months. A dr has to sign documents stating that is their opinion. It can be her regular dr or the hospice dr.
Usually a RN sees the patient on a weekly basis and gives the medical instruction to the caretaker.
I hope you are able to support your mom through this tough tough time.
I do not know if it is elder abuse but I would try to get a better Understanding about how to make sure your mom gets the care she needs.
It's very sad that she is afraid of her caregiver. I hope someone has more information about how you can handle this difficult situation.
Is your mom in pain? Hospice has left stonger pain meds. If her husband cannot remember to help her with her pain, does she need to be in a nursing home, perhaps? Can you be there when the nurse is next scheduled to come, and discuss this with her or him?