One thing I never hear about (or read about) is honest conversations between caregivers and care recipients about how the arrangement is working for the caregiver, or how it is affecting their life. At most you hear about setting or negotiating limits, which mainly involves pushing back against excessive or unreasonable demands by the care recipient. I have a sneaking suspicion that many of us would be a lot happier if our care recipient would check in with us occasionally about how this arrangement is working for us and if we're okay with what is being expected of us. But that has yet to happen in my life, and I wonder if it happens to any caregiver. Any thoughts on this?
Sometimes mother is grateful for the help, a lot of the time she is beyond demanding and not very grateful. My MIL is plain old mean to my Hubby, if he goes to see her. She still treats him horribly and since he'd never confront her, the "abuse" just goes on.
My single greatest worry is that I will outlive my "lovability"....
We all need to have that talk with our kids WAY before it becomes an issue.