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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Mom has Parkinson's, back pain from 3 spinal surgeries, and is confused sometimes. Dad had a moderate stroke but cannot drive or dress himself anymore.
singpeace, do you know they are over the limit for Medicaid by looking it up, or have you discussed this with a social worker or other knowledgable professional? Income is one criterion but medical need is another factor. And "spending down" may be an option. If you haven't already, you (or your sister) should explore this option thoroughly.
Your parents are very lucky to have you looking after their interests. They may not recognize their own impairments until a crisis occurs.
What resources are available in their county to help them continue to live in their home? We worried about our mom, and were able to arrange meals on wheels, a once-a-week nurse visit, and cleaning help. My sister handles her bills. The weekly homemaker could run errands for her but we live close enough to handle that for her. These things enable Ma to continue where she is. We first had to get her on Medicaid but that was pretty easy since she had no assets and a clear health need. This is just an example. Perhaps your parents would also need a daily PCA for a few hours, to help them get showered and dressed, etc.
If that isn't enough, or when it becomes not enough, then you will need to look for suitable long term placement. You don't mention their financial situation. Depending on that you may need to start the process of applying for aid.
You may need professional help to determine what they need. Get social services involved.
And here is a tip. When interviewed, Ma insisted she didn't need anything. Sigh. When they asked if she needed a homemaker to help with laundry and cleaning, she said "oh my daughters can do that," and she insisted there was nothing wrong with her so she didn't need a nurse, and she could still use the microwave so she didn't need meals delivered. The interviewers are very used to elderly people in denial about what help they need. But we made sure that one of us (we designated one sister for this role) was always present for these kinds of interviews, as a reality check. We are looking into nursing homes, just in case. For now we are pretty sure she is OK on her own with the support we've arranged.
Good luck to you as you arrange for help your parents may not even admit they need!
It sounds to me like their health needs are beyond you having them moved into your house or moving in with them. If you have your own family, be warned from the stories all over this site about two families under one roof does not work although many try thinking they will be the exception.
1. Do you have medical and durable POA for your dad and mom?
2. Have they seen a doctor lately? If so, what has the doctor said to them about living alone at home or has the doctor not been told the whole story so it all sounds better than it really is? Parents are bad at doing things like that.
3. Has a doctor evaluated them to see if they are or are not competent to handle their affairs in a business like manner?
4. As my 85 year old dad has said many times, old people don't belong taking care of old people. He and my step-mother have reached the place where they must move into assisted living.
5, Have you looked into them qualifying for medicaid?
6. Do either of them have any type of retirement income other than social security?
It really sounds like they need alot help on an everyday basis. I know that assisted living is expensive, but might be the best thing for them. I don't know what state you are in, but you might want to look into a reverse mortgage for them if they own there home. That may be a way for them to cover their expenses without having to worry about repayment of a loan. Just a thought. i really wish you the best.
I meant to add that they have no real assets. Their home is paid for, but that is all. They don't even have life insurance, and Dad is 80 and had cancer 20 years ago. This is a real mess.
Yes, but I really don't think they can be left alone much longer even though they are together. Mom is in so much pain she walks a little bowed over now, and her legs and arms are very weak, and they are trembling much more now. She is killing herself dressing Dad. He grabs her to steady himself, and she says it hurts so much when he does that. She is having difficulty just balancing their checkbook now. They both are showing signs of early dementia. I am very very concerned, and I want them to come live with me, or else I will be staying with them a lot more. We are about 110 miles from each other.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
2. They see various doctors on a pretty regular basis. I have gone now and then over the years, but not recently. That's about to change.
3. I did not know a doctor could test someone for skills like that.
4. They make just a few dollars over the limit to qualify for Medicaid.
What resources are available in their county to help them continue to live in their home? We worried about our mom, and were able to arrange meals on wheels, a once-a-week nurse visit, and cleaning help. My sister handles her bills. The weekly homemaker could run errands for her but we live close enough to handle that for her. These things enable Ma to continue where she is. We first had to get her on Medicaid but that was pretty easy since she had no assets and a clear health need. This is just an example. Perhaps your parents would also need a daily PCA for a few hours, to help them get showered and dressed, etc.
If that isn't enough, or when it becomes not enough, then you will need to look for suitable long term placement. You don't mention their financial situation. Depending on that you may need to start the process of applying for aid.
You may need professional help to determine what they need. Get social services involved.
And here is a tip. When interviewed, Ma insisted she didn't need anything. Sigh. When they asked if she needed a homemaker to help with laundry and cleaning, she said "oh my daughters can do that," and she insisted there was nothing wrong with her so she didn't need a nurse, and she could still use the microwave so she didn't need meals delivered. The interviewers are very used to elderly people in denial about what help they need. But we made sure that one of us (we designated one sister for this role) was always present for these kinds of interviews, as a reality check. We are looking into nursing homes, just in case. For now we are pretty sure she is OK on her own with the support we've arranged.
Good luck to you as you arrange for help your parents may not even admit they need!
2. Have they seen a doctor lately? If so, what has the doctor said to them about living alone at home or has the doctor not been told the whole story so it all sounds better than it really is? Parents are bad at doing things like that.
3. Has a doctor evaluated them to see if they are or are not competent to handle their affairs in a business like manner?
4. As my 85 year old dad has said many times, old people don't belong taking care of old people. He and my step-mother have reached the place where they must move into assisted living.
5, Have you looked into them qualifying for medicaid?
6. Do either of them have any type of retirement income other than social security?