My mother, 73, was recently hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital for approximately two months. Prior to this she was living by herself in her home, though we were concerned about her depression and that she was so isolated. There were two separate psych hospital stays of about 20-30 days each with a chaotic week in between with two ER visits. She was diagnosed MDD or major depressive disorder, classified as severe with psychotic features. One time they said Psychotic Depression or Dementia Depression or something like that. She’s been “better” for only a week or so now, and discharged once she began taking her medications, eating and drinking water again, after a court ordered her to. She’d been refusing all of these things for most of the rest of her stay, lost 30+ pounds in 2 months, and was very difficult to handle. She’d been planning self-harm before being hospitalized also, and actually laid out her plans specifically to me of what she would do. So, it’s a fragile situation. Obviously we’re concerned with her being on her own, and possibly falling into another deep depression or worse. We think she needs to be in possibly independent living or something she can afford, where she’ll be safe and closer to us. However, she keeps saying she wants the chance to prove she can be on her own. She’s been suffering with depression and anxiety for over 30 years. The new wrinkle is this worsening of her depression and possibly some age-related dementia and the delusions and suicidal tendencies. Also, she’s always had an OCD- type A personality and is obstinate and wanting to go back to living alone at her home, though we’re really concerned about it. We, her only close relatives, live in another city about 2 hours drive away and have school-aged children, other medical issues, and jobs, etc., so can’t be there to help her full time. I’ve gone down there 3 times over the past two months, and it’s weighing heavily on me trying to deal with this stress. What are the options to help us and her make the transition to her life after this hospitalization and diagnosis? Can she live alone safely with this diagnosis- whatever it is exactly? Since she’s on a small fixed income, what are the options for living arrangements? We’re thinking of independent living, but she’s balking at that idea. I’m not even sure she’d stay if we got her in somewhere, as she changes her mind frequently. She can’t live with us permanently, as it’s stressing our family and honestly, my marriage. She’s driving me a bit crazy with her obstinance, anxiety, delusional behavior and OCD tendencies. Also, she’s not the same! It’s almost as though she’s a shell of the person she once was. It’s very hard to deal with and so sad for me. Keeps asking me the same things, and gets fixated on one thing and can’t let it go. This is all new to me and my whole family. I apologize if this is scattered and rambling. Please, I need advice and help on how to proceed.
When she was discharged this last time, did the doctors say that she was competent to live on her own? We're you part of that conversation? We often hear that parents tell discharge " oh, my daughter will be taking care of me".
I think I would call the local Area Agency on Aging and ask for a needs assessment. Be there when it happens. They can tell you what level of care your mom needs and what aid she qualifies for.
indigoant, I agree with the others who advise you NOT to bring her into your home. That will just add another layer of anxiety and stress, and spread it to more people.
A needs assessment is a good start.
Seawell, I am curious whether you feel a diagnosis like high blood pressure or diabetes fall into the same category you describe above where you’d refuse BP medication or insulin for diabetes treatment?
Medications used to treat HTN or diabetes are similar in they can change metabolic imbalances (diabetes) or meds that mimic substances produced by the body for high blood pressure.
Depression can be debilitating. People with depression often have loving, caring people taking care of them already but that doesn’t make the person’s depression go away.
We’ve come along way with pharmacology to treat many diseases mental illness being one of those. I think a person should take meds for their depression if the meds help. If not, their providers can prescribe another medication- like in BP or diabetes control.
I learned that with my Dad and his heart doctor.
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