My mother has either early stage Alzheimers or Dementia-Dr's haven't totally pinned this down for me yet. She is taking Alzheimer meds but they don't seem to do much (if any) good, but that isn't the problem.
Two years ago my stepfather (her husband died) and left mom without any income except her Social Security which is about $1,000 a month, however he did leave her with TRICARE for medical (he was retired military) and medicare so she doesn't really have any major medical bills. She also was left with a mobile home on about 1/3 acre. Unfortunately it isn't paid off yet, she still owes about $10K on it.
All in all mom is in pretty good physical shape but her memory is pretty bad. She generally reminds me of a petulant child and it is very hard to make her happy. This is what makes me think it is early alzheimers.
My husband and I live within a mile of mom and due to her memory lapses I immediately started taking care of her bills and things like that. Within 6 months I realized I had to stop her from driving because it was a danger to others.
My husband and I live in a tiny mobile home in a senior community. We don't even have room for a nail to hang mom on so she can't come live with us. Also we don't own the land where our mobile is, we just rent to land.
I am one of 5 children that my mother had. So far she has outlived 3 of her children. There are only 2 of us left. My older sister lives about 100 miles away and basically only talks to my mom by phone maybe once a month. I am the one that calls mom daily, takes care of her medication, buys her groceries, takes her to the Dr, takes her cat to the vet, etc. But so far she has been capable of living alone. As time goes on I can see that it won't be long before that isn't possible. I also work a full time job and can't quit because I am the one that provides our medical insurance.
I have POA for my mom and she has a will which leaves her mobile home to me. She made that decision 2 years ago because she said I am the only one that helps her. She really doesn't have anything else of value to worry about. Recently I moved mom into a tiny little apartment so that we could try to sell her place. Mainly because she needed to be in a smaller place using less utilities and closer to neighbors for more companionship. I also figured if we sold it she could use the money to live better and hopefully continue to live independently with my help. I also figured that if she had to go to a nursing home eventually the Gov would take her place anyway. My husband and I have been cleaning and painting her place in hopes of selling it but it has been a few months with no real interest.
I can't afford to move into her place and lose my place if I will be thrown out when she passes or goes to a nursing home and I can't afford to pay for my place on the side. Things are very tight money wise for my husband and I.
If her place doesn't sell, the best thing would be for my husband and I to move into it and bring mom back to live with us until we can no longer handle her, but like I said I don't want to be left homeless.
I have been told that if the house hasn't been in my name for 5 years the gov can take it from me.
What should I do? Any help is appreciated. I can see this is rambling but I hope you can figure out what I mean.
If she needs " care", then somebody just go there and do it. Don't laugh.
I am now questioning whether I should be trying to sell her home or not? If they won't take that from her anyway.
Much depends on the state you live in as to what the laws are. I wouldn't move into your mom's place. With dementia, she'll probably have to go into a nursing home to get the care she needs and like you said then you're w/out a home. My suggestion is to start checking nursing homes. In Tenn, a veteran's wife qualifys for 1/2 the costs of a nursing home. And if her property isn't important to you, which it doesn't sound like it is, then the nursing home will take that IF the cost exceeds what her veterans benefits and SS cover for the nursing home.
Hope this helps.
I do want to encourage you and your husband to take care of yourselves first. I didn't and had a stroke where I had to learn to type, write and walk again. I wasn't much good to anyone at that point. I have recovered and fortunately my mom is well enough at the moment to live on her own (after living w/us for a year, during my step dad's illness and death, a broken pelvis and broken ribs,) she just started living alone at the end of June. So we'll see what happens next. We got her a lifefone to wear around her neck as a precaution. But she's not coming back to our house. That sounds cold but both my husband and I's health suffered and relationship as well. We are taking steps to sell our house and moving into a small apt. and when mom can't live alone (she's 45 minutes from us) then we can get her an apt. next door or in the same complex and pay a nurse to come in for the things we're unable to do. I have a daughter that will help out some too. Your sister needs to help but you can't make her and that probably would just cause more stress to argue w/her about it. Do what is less stress on you but be proactive. Find out about the veteran's benefits, etc. That will help you know what course to take. Best wishes to you.
I put mom into the tiny apartment because she had less room to rattle around in, less space to heat and cool and closer proximity to neigbhors her on age.
Even though I would inherit her little property upon her passing I was hoping to sell it so that she could live in a nicer place without money worries for the next few years. However recently I am starting to see that with her memory issues she may not be able to function alone for more than a year or so more.
I realize that if we sell the house and she then had to go into a nursing home that money would have to be used to pay her nursing care bills untill she is out of money and then I guess medicare takes over.
Her mobile and land is valued at only about 81,000 and it is homesteaded. If it sells I doubt that it would sell for more than that.
My husband and I have been hit pretty hard by the economy but we are content where we are and don't rely on mothers property for retirement. My problem is that I don't have money to help her since we are month to month ourselves and I really can't afford to buy mom's place for the tax value.
What really worries me the most is that I work 40 hours a week and my job is what gives my husband and I our medical insurance, so I can't afford to quit. If/when mom gets to the point that she is unable to function at home alone during the day I don't know what I can do because I can't quit my job to take care of her.
I can tell that many of you are very savvy with these issues, I just wish I had a better grasp and understanding of it.
By the way, we live in Texas so if that helps, keep the info coming. I am one of these people that doesn't grasp written word so well (especially technical) so please be specific and patient.
Thanks in advance
I suggest that you look into how the land is titled: Joint Tenancy with/without right of survivorship, Tenancy in Common (You and your mother each owning half of the land's value), and Tenancy at Will. ( a Lawyer will explain this to you.) The mobile home is simply an improvement upon the property and has no value from a real estate point of view. Keep in mind that her medical condition has nothing to do with home ownership. Don't count your chicks before they're hatched. Fix up the place if you wish, but don't expect any remuneration from a sale of the property.
Since this is all so new for the states, there isn't any hard data that I have been able to find. Ancedotally it seems that the recovery seems to be triggered if the property has at least 100K in potential recovery, under that $$ amount my gut feeling is that is just isn't profitable to warrant doing. But who knows...
yes, MERP is done thru probate in most states. I've been the executrix twice in TX (a easy probate state) but it was before MERP. I'd say the cost for probate were maybe 4% - 5% of the value of the estate, it really depends on if things are challenged and how organized the paperwork was before death.
Probate can go on a very, very long time if need be. So tiger, if you move to mom's house you can go that route to stay living there even longer. But you do not want to pay rent as that would give her more income.
timm - if the assets were all put in a living trust and the names changed on the assets then it doesn't go thru probate.ALL THE ASSETS must have gone thru the changes for the living trust to work and the trust HAS to be maintained. The cost to maintain the trust will likely exceed the 4% of the probate costs if they live for several years. If any of the assets didn't go thru the trust properly then you end up having to do probate anyways.
Personally I think a living trust is great IF what you are looking at is an estate of over 1M & live in an inheiritance tax state. But you probably aren't on this site!
I've known of several elderly who did a "trust" which are all about getting people to cash in their investments, life insurance, etc and turn them into an annuities.Often these annuities are not good as you have elderly locked into a 10, 20 yr investment as part of the trust.
Tiger - one real issue if mom goes on Medicaid is that she will NOT have any money to pay on the 10K note that is still outstanding on the property. I would imagine she is currently using her SS to pay it and the tiny apt?. So you will have to pay the note or the property could be foreclosed upon. Same is true for property taxes, utilities, maintenance, etc. Mom won't have any $$ to do this, so you will have to pay it if you want to keep the property. The one good thing is you can ask for her estate to reinburse you for all those expenses in probate. Also you need to keep track of this to present to MERP within a set amount of time after her death - this is very important as MERP needs to figure out what might be recouped from an estate and if that property is even worth doing.
Remember to qualifiy for Medicaid she does not have to sell her homestead. But then all of her assets must go to the NH except for whatever her states monthly "personal" needs allowance is ($ 35 - 70 per month). Again if you move to her place, you do not want to pay rent as that could endanger her assets ceiling and make her ineligible for Medicaid.
ALot of this is really depends on what you truly think the near future is for her and for you & you hubby's health and finances. If you think she will need NH care within the next year or two?. What can she and you afford to do? Is inheiriting her property something you were counting on for your retirement?
What is her property worth - not just the mobile home but the whole property?
this would be on your county tax assesor's site. Now is it fair? Could it be sold for that? If not, then as POA you can go down and ask for a review of the appraisal to a lower amount. You will need documentation (photos of bad foundation,etc) and a realtor's statement to do this. Most assessors are glad to reduce the amount for
seniors as their taxes are usually frozen anyways so it makes no real difference
till the property is sold or transfered.
Say it's worth 80K. Could you possibly buy it from her for that? SHe would then have 70K which she would need to spend down to 2K but she could do a personal services contract with you in which she pays you for caring for her. This really needs to be done by an elder care attorney so it can pass the Medicaid review later on. And she could pay a bit of rent and the rest of her money can be spent on things she needs like dental work, new hearing aid, a prepaid funeral and burial policy (nontransferable with no cash value), a caregiver to come in for respite.
It could take a couple of years to spend down but then she would qualify for Medicaid and you would legally own the property.
None of this is easy but it's good that you are looking at it before there is an emergency. Good luck.
Medicaid is a different ballgame, sometimes the A&A is better because they dont put a lein on your house. Good luck.
Evelyn... I had dinner with a realtor friend tonight and we talked about your "or" scenario and my friend said "she must not be married because her husband would have dower rights on any property in her name and that could complicate things." And now I see you did mention potential problems with it. Nothing is easy anymore......lol
The glass of wine I had with my dinner tonight is not helping me think very clearly... so with that, I am off to Dreamland....lol. Have a wonderful night everyone! And may we wake up with more and better solutions to our problems tomorrow!! :o)
government come after it then...or is it protected by the trust?
michfla317 - It is hard to describe where I live. I live in a senior community that was started over 30 years ago. It consists of mobile homes that were new when this place started and has been kept in tip top shape. The problem is that although I own the mobile I don't own the land, so I can't sublease my place without the owner of the property approving them. They have to be over 50 , no kids at home, good history etc. They are pretty picky. Now as people move out since these homes are all single wides and old (even though they are in good shape) they really want you to move the mobile to make room for newer ones,so they have said we have to be able to sell for at least $42,000 which is an unreasonable price or we have to move it, which costs several thousand dollars and where do we move it? Unfortunately there isn't room to put it on mom's lot or I would consider that.
Anyway...that gives you an idea of some of the mess I am stuck in. I am stuck with a mobile home I really can't sell or rent and if I leave it where it is and move to my mom's place I still have to pay my lot rent and upkeep on it.
About this time I could pull out my thinning hair!
I have to disagree with ksue saying you should get everything out of your mom's name asap. You may not have 5 years to wait.
Evelyn.... thanks for all the good info!!
As for selling our place that would be a good idea but in essence I would only be selling a very old mobile home-no land. You have to be a senior to live where I live and they are wanting to move all the old mobiles out when people sell. I don't know anyone that would buy it really.
But even if I sold my place and moved into moms to take care of her it sounds like I would get thrown out if she had to go to a nursing home because it would be paid for by medicare and they would take the house, right?