I know I should know the answer--but it still drives me bananas. Dad is 94, desperately needs to go to the podiatrist but WILL NOT DO IT. His feet are horrendous. Because it is summer he wears slippers and is not affected by his feet bothering him in shoes. But winter is right around the corner.
He would not leave the house this year on Easter to go a short distance to my sister's house. which ruined the holiday for all of us. We went without him and my husband left early to be with him once it began to get dark....and with Christmas in the future I have a feeling this is happening again.
And no, we cannot have holidays at our house with dad; it is a tiny brick ranch crammed with the furniture and belongings of my family of 3 as well as dad and mom's possessions. I have stealthily gotten rid of things but dad has a fit when too much is "missing". Has anyone else had to deal with this problem?
At some point it's just logistically too difficult to go to the doctor's office & if they live at home there is no alternative.
And though you didn't ask about this, I have another service for mom. Her primary care physician makes house calls. He comes once a month or when I call him. He actually most often answers his own cell phone. He's a younger-ish doctor. Mom loves him. No charge. Medicare.
As to why he doesn't want to go out, I'd say those reasons are many-fold. Old people relish routine. I think it makes them feel more in control. When your whole body is falling (has fallen) apart, the less one is reminded the better. Getting dressed differently...all the hub-bub...unable to relax at someone else's home and do exactly what one wants...the noise...the confusion...it's just not WORTH it. He wants to stay at home like Captain!! He's safe...he's comfortable...and he doesn't have to feel like odd man out which is exactly how a very old person can feel at a large gathering. Superfluous.
I don't know how often you gather with family down the street, but now that you know he's resistant, don't even plan to take him. He'll be delighted! Make him a plate and have somebody take it down to him, set up his tray (whatever), give him some milk or ice water (whatever), and go on back to the party.
Ask ahead of time for people in your family to help. This ought to be your family's carefree holiday outing. When it gets dark, have everybody take turns spending an hour with him until the party's over. And one of those "everybodies" is outside your immediate family.
My 87-year-old mom lives with me. We don't have any other family except cousins, really. So we don't go out on holidays anyway. But, I'll tell you what. I don't take her to ANYTHING except her weekly outing to Adult Daycare (which we call The Senior Center so as not to offend mom's sensibilities). And even then, I have Tom (my significant other of 14 years) transport her both ways. (He owns a taxi. I reserve the rides. Mom pays.) Mom's wheelchair bound. The LAST thing I want to do is take her with me to a party.
Talk to the podiatrist office and explain about your dad and ask if there is anyway someone could make a home visit. Even if winter is comming if he won't go out then he can continue to wear his comfy slippers. At 94 he has earned his choices. it is about what he wants not what is good for him.