I am not seeing any signs of the bathroom shower having been used in possibly 10 months. His pants are stained with urine dribble and the floor in front of the toilet is always wet. He thinks there must be something wrong with the toilet as it is "leaking". I've tried gently to help him understand that there is nothing wrong with the toilet, and have placed paper towels in front of it and suggested he look at it after he uses it. Does any of this matter to his safety and health? It doesn't seem to bother him one bit.
The first being he did not want be told what to do as he was a “grown man” in charge of his own life and did not need anyone to direct him. He also thinks he showered only the day before because his afflicted brain has no real concept of time.
My husband and I were at wits end trying to figure out what to do as he smelled so badly family and friends were coming to us expressing concern.
Finally we decided to sit and casually speak to him about why he was against bathing on a day he seemed more cognizant.
The first was an obvious reason, he was afraid of falling. We bought a bath chair that fits into the shower and hired a CNA to come and assist with showering - mostly to remove clothing and redress afterward.
Second, he is frightened to have water running over his head. We later learned through speaking with others, this is not an uncommon fear in individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia. We bought a handheld shower wand.
He still does not want to be told when to shower but we have learned how to address the issue in a manner that helps him think it’s his idea in addition to changing our own expectation of how often he needs to bathe. Daily is too stressful for him so twice a week seemed like a more realistic goal.
Maybe some of what worked for us will work for you too. Hopefully our situation will stay as it is for a long time but let’s face it, it’s always a never ending roller coaster of changes when dealing with dementia!
Good luck!!
As for thinking the toilet is leaking, I seriously doubt it. He's missing the toilet and he needs to stand closer because it's shorter than he thinks.
If he's incontinent it's probably time for adult pull-ups
Check out "Products and Supplies" at the above website. Who knew there were so many helps for bathing?!
Disclosure: I'm not affiliated with the group that publishes the DVD/course in any way. My thought process here is that if the Alzheimer's Association likes it enough to lend it out, it's good enough to give it a try. Good luck!
As for the pee I think that too is just your dad's age. At 96 years old he's just not as quick and nimble as he once was. Things start to slow down. He also has a 96 year old bladder which loses its elasticity over time. It can't hold as much as it used to and the bladder muscles weaken as well.
Where the soiled clothes are concerned you might have to do more laundry. I would go through my dad's room and take anything I'd seen him wear in the last few days whether i saw visible dirt or not. I kept a box of latex gloves on the washer and I'd don a pair before rifling through my dad's clothes to extract tissues or hearing aids or anything else that might be in the pockets. My dad had bowel issues so the gloves were a must.
Does any of this affect your dad's health or safety? Probably not. One could argue that he's at risk for a UTI but no more so than any other elderly person. He ought to be showering at least a couple of times a week but if he's not buy some bath wipes and place them in his bathroom but caution him NOT TO FLUSH THEM. Maybe he'll use them to clean himself up a bit and they're better than nothing.
I solved the problem of urine around the toilet by changing the carpet around the toilet daily...more laundry, yet more sanitary. My Mom doesn't like to wear pads, so I also have the problem of urine drips all the way to her bathroom from her living room. I clean her floors daily, if necessary. Mom allows washable pee pads on her chair, which I change daily.
Similar to your situation with your Dad, my most ongoing problem is getting my Mom to change her house dresses. I haven't found a solution for that...yet.
Best of luck!