I feel I've given up my life. I have two. Mom and her live (18yrs). End stages copd and severe arthritis and blood issues. Both late 70's. I have 3 kids, 4 Grandkids, and hubby of 21 yrs. lived in moms basement apt(paid rent for that dungeon) 7 yrs. hubs just got a new place. Couldn't deal anymore and I can't blame him but couldn't go with. Nw I feel abandoned. I am 51 and must ask permission to go somewhere. If I go watch tv in my room (can't stand golf) she calls every ten mins with excuses y I need to come back upstairs. HE isn't as bad as he plays off, milks it. Sits, nd waits to be served. I feel taken advantage of, manipulated daily, treated like a child. Mom very controlling. Specific spoon or fork or bowl or paper plate size each meal. I swear she wants food at a full rolling boil, then has to pee and it gets cold. Start all over. I am upstairs at 9am and am lucky to go "home" (their rec room now) by 11pm. I get the pouty face routine. I am old, fat, depressed, and just want to be lazy. I want-to be able to say "no, I don't want any pie but I'll get you some" without getting pressured. I want- to have someone else pick up those little fuzz balls off the carpet that annoy her so much. I want- to be able to go somewhere w/o a curfew (meds, treatments). I want- to have a place to have my Grandkids come see me. I want- to be able to say "yes, i'll meet you for lunch" to my husband. I want- to be respected and not be told how to dress, when, hw, who, what every aspect of my life. But it's not about me.
I love my mom with ll of my being and I do know that when she is gone I will rest well knowing I gave of myself to make her final years comfortable. Sure would live to runaway though! Thanks for lustening
Doesn't your husband need you? There are lots of caregiver options, but only you can do the job of being his wife..!