My 91 year old mother with dementia and wheel chair bound has been in a nursing home since September 2014. I am constantly having to ask that her hair be combed and not left standing on her head like a cat's hair stands up when they are mad. I am also concerned about the shortage of help especially in the dining hall during mealtimes. Not only is there a shortage but new faces constantly in the dining hall. My mom eats very slowly and drops a lot of her food I am afraid she may not get all her nutrients. At first I tried to go over at least 3 times a week at dinner time to make sure she had help. The facility is 30 minutes away and with the increase in gas prices I can not go as often as I would like. Recently they changed both my mom's roommates and gave her new ones. I don't understand why they did this. Also, when mom entered the NH she had her own wheelchair with the leg extensions on it since, she has been in the NH they have removed the leg extensions. When my brother asked about them because he wanted to push my mom outside no one could find them. Also, because my mom has a history of constipation I would like for them to give her a probiotic which I would furnish. The first time I asked about this they said, "no". How can I address these issues without angering the staff?
If this NH isn't doing this, then I'd send a request for a formal CPM to be done and this request goes in writing to the DON - Director of Nursing with a CC to the medical director. At her care plan meeting there should be a rep from all departments (MD though is rarely at a CPM). You can bring up digestive issues & meals as dietary & nursing should have someone there for it. If mom can hold a sandwich, 1 meal a day can be done as a sandwich - got that done for my mom.
About help with meals, the medical director can write orders for "assisted feeding". My mom had this & "mechanized food" for the full 18 mos she was on hospice at her NH. During the week a CNA would come in an sit either aside in a chair or on the mattress and help her eat. At night or weekends, it would be the dietary staff who helped mom eat. Hospice ordered these big feeding bibs too as assisted feeding is messy. When I went in to visit, I would try to be there for dinner as a long feeding is easier at night as dietary tend to leave the Cambro/meal racks in the hallways longer. When you finish the meal, you do need to take the tray and put it into the Cambro; do what you can so that staff finds you to be an ally.
Doing things for staff pays off in huge ways. I would pretty often stop & buy a box of those mini-birthday party size sherbets at the grocery store to bring in for a dessert for mom and leave the rest at the nursing station - happiness all around.
Extreme good will for a small price!
About her hair, is mom on a schedule for the beauty salon? If not, perhaps try it so that mom goes once a week or twice a month to get her hair done. Make sure that mom has enough in her NH trust fund to pay for the salon too. If mom needs extra help - like for us, she did as mom was bedfast once she went onto hospice so beautician had to go to her room to do her hair twice a mo. - you probably need to tip heavily from your own purse. Mom had already been a weekly client so beauty salon had a relationship with her.
hollar - got a ? for you, just how did it go for the appeal?
I don't see a nursing home hand feeding mom. Maybe you could furnish a protein drink for her in the early evening.
As to the extensions on her wheelchair, talk to the supervisor on the floor about their being missing. When they find them, clearly mark them so they don't get misplaced again. Talk to her every time you come in until they locate them.
If mom's hair isn't cut short, make an appointment for her. Ask the Director of Nursing to make sure her hair is combed every day.
Once a month, bring the staff a treat from your mom...a few dozen donuts, big box of candy, big bowl of in-season fruit...a big bowl of Halloween candy type bars in her room.
When you come to visit mom, come around mealtime so you can help her yourself. AND! Help staff in the dining room clean tables, help OTHERS with their condiment requests, refills on coffee, etc etc. Bec a little worker bee they're glad to have around.
I can tell you why they took off your mom's foot rests: they take up too much room and with the foot rests the staff can't slide your mom into her spot during meal times. Also, with the foot rests your mom has to be pushed around in her wheelchair by a staff member. Without them your mom may be able to propel herself around without any help. I'm not saying it's right but that's why her foot rests are gone.
Your concerns are valid and deserved to be addressed.