When a parent develops a false memory, even though most of the time they're coherent aside from some normal memory lapse, does that false memory ever go away?
Last year he had a false memory and it was due to a urinary infection. He eventually stopped bringing it up.
Well he just recently had another one that my mother is still alive even though she died in 2002.
Strangely both of them seem to revolve around my mother.
I told the doctor about it and they brought him in today for labs.
I'm hoping it's another infection.
But do they ever go away? The false memories?
I am disabled with spinal problems and can't work. I've been fighting SS to get my disability but haven't won yet. So his income pays the bills but in December his benefits from the lawsuit he won were exhausted. Apparently if you win a workman's comp lawsuit after your 70 you only get it for 5 years instead of the rest of your life like it was before 2003. The insurance companies are the ones who got government to change it.
Needless to say this chopped his income in half. To top it off, 2 weeks later we got a letter from the rental management company that our landlord hired 6 months ago saying the rents going up in Feb. We've been here 6 years.
I can barely move without excruciating pain when I don't have my medicine but can't afford to go to that now.
I've got a GoFundMe page set up but have only gotten help from 1 person so far.
So I am already under tremendous stress.
A woman from my past that I still talk to occasionally offered for us to come live with her but she's in Virginia. He's not sure if he could handle the cold and I'm not sure I could even find the money to move up there if I did.
I'm trying to find a way to earn a living online but I don't have any formal education behind me and the few things I could probably do would take time to become reliable.
On top of all this uncertainty I wonder if he ends up to where he needs to be in a VA nursing home will his income keep coming in? If it doesn't and I haven't gotten a reliable income coming yet I'll end up on the streets.
That is if it doesn't happen in the next month anyway.
The rental company says that if we decide to stay with the rent going up that they want to do an inspection. We smoke and technically we're breaking the the lease but our landlord just dealt with it because she didn't want to find a new tenant.
I don't know how the rental company will react.
I am so stressed with all of this that sometime I just wish I was dead.
Then I wouldn't have to deal with my constant chronic pain, my dad's seemingly deteriorating mental state (even though I love him) or my brother's total preoccupation with himself and his family and unwillingness to help.
I wish I had a gun. :(
So I hope your dad has an infection and it can easily be treated. Since he also has dementia, I suggest doing some research and reading on dealing with delusions. This one might go away, but there will probably be others.
I'm hoping that it isn't the dementia progressing.
I try not to argue with him. But this is what happens.
He wanted me to contact the funeral home that had her cremated, which he believes her urn is filled with dirt by the way.
He wants me to contact them to prove to me that he's right.
I told him they don't give out that information to the public but he says they will when they know our last name is the same.
I went to the funeral home site last night and they didn't have obituaries listed before 2008. I told him this earlier today when he came in my room and wouldn't leave until he could turn the conversation towards that and when I told him he got mad saying "who are you trying to protect me, her or your sis-in-law. He had also said that my SIL talked to her frequently and when he talked to her he said she's lying too.
I hope it's a UTI. aybe he'll come to forget bringing it up.
If it's his dementia getting worse, I don't know what to do unless maybe his recall gets worse too and forget it that way.
My mother has dementia. With her the false memories last better than the truth. I've wondered why this happens, since her short-term memory is not so good. It would be interesting to learn why confabulated stories are remembered and real events are forgotten.
What you are calling a false memory is a delusion -- something strongly believed to be true although it is demonstrably not true. Sometimes delusions are accompanied by hallucinations (seeing something that is not there.)
Delusions and hallucinations can both accompany utis in the elderly. They are also common in some forms of dementia, and in other mental illnesses. It is wise to consult a doctor, as you are doing.
In general (and this doesn't apply in every situation) it is best not to argue with a person having delusions. Go along if possible, and be comforting and reassuring.
You might try something along the lines of ... "I miss Mother, too. I am so sorry she can't be with us now. I know she isn't living with another guy. She loves us both very much. Remember the time she ...." and redirect to talking about some real memory.
And I KNOW it can be irritating as h*ll, especially if he wants to argue with you about it. Try not to get sucked into arguments.
So, I don't think there is any way to determine.if the false memories will continue, but most of the time it doesn't really matter. Although, it may be disconcerting to the caregiver, it may not bother the patient at all. In fact, believing their mother is alive may bring them comfort. I hope your dad feels better.
Originally Sunday when he formed it he didn't say anything about the cause of death and was talking about how she's living with another guys across the street from her brother in Alabama.
I try to ignore it or redirect him but he mostly gets mad because I "think he's crazy".