My grandma is 83 and suffers from dementia and Parkinson's disease. She has had her dog Ellie for over 16 years, in human years! So as you would guess, she is very attached to this dog. However, the dog is very old and is no longer able to hold her urine due to old age and I'm guessing some health problems. Every day I am cleaning up urine after the dog and my grandmother. Ellie also has trouble walking and just doesn't look happy anymore. She sleeps all day and frequently falls on her butt while walking and then cries because she can't get up. Long story short, my father and I feel it may be time to let Ellie go to heaven. We have felt this way for the last six months to a year or more but have put it off due to my grandmother and her strong friendship. Ellie sleeps in her room every night and sits by her chair during the day. My question is, what do we do? If we decide to let Ellie go to heaven, how do we explain it to my grandmother? or do we even say anything? It's not like my grandmother wouldnt notice her absence. But I feel like she deserves to know or be involved in making the decision but then again I really don't know what to do and I want to do what's best for her. Please help! Thank you for all of you that are able to respond. I appreciate it
I had to do this twice and I am not sure if you will have the same results I did, but...
My 92 year old mom lived with me for 2 years. When she moved in, she brought her 20 year old Siamese cat and 13 year old German shepherd. Mom loved her pets. The dog developed a tumor and it was time. Due to the Alzheimer's sometimes the dog was mine and sometimes it was hers. I put the dog down when she was away at daycare and I told her when she got home. Of course, she remembered the dog was hers that day and she mourned and missed her but she did accept it. The dog was obviously struggling.
About a year later the cat, needed to go down. She was urinating all over my house. Every time I tried to talk to her about it, she would get very angry with me, she was going to go home and bury her cat in her own back yard, etc. etc. (In my mom's mind, she was just visiting me). By this time, her dementia was worse. I took the cat to vet while she was at daycare, got rid of all the cat stuff, told her the cat died, and when she got home and she just said "oh ok" and that was it. Out-of-sight out-of-mind.
What I would do - first have the conversation and see how she reacts. If she accepts it go ahead and do it. Secondly, there are vets that will come to the house and euthanize a pet at home. It is more expensive and I did think of doing this, but decided it wouldn't be a good idea. And lastly, she may not remember. I do not know how bad her dementia is, but I was shocked when I put the cat down and it was literally out-of-sight out-of-mind.
You have to think of the dog too, if she is suffering, please let her go.
When I had to have my cats euthanized (at nearly 20 years of age), my vet sent me a touching emotional condolence card. Although I don't remember the specific wording, it was something to the effect that they provided love, comfort and companionship to me for years. Now it was my turn to acknowledge that, treat them with respect, and prevent them from any further suffering.
If you don't feel comfortable getting another pet, perhaps you can get a large toy dog that looks very real and keep it near your grandmother.