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They say that my husband has turned very aggressive and the transfer is for his benefit and other patients. The problem is that the other place "they decided" is very far, all highways and bridges in this complicated city of Jacksonville. They are taking my husband away from me. Is this legal? I tried to talk to to find another place. I just looked in the map, and I do not recognize the area. I am desperate....Please help

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My Mother wasn't aggressive before her dementia, but she has always had a '''don't tell me what to do attitude'''.
She was released from a behavioral health facility, after a few months of a consistent daily routine the combo of psych meds 4 squares a day, exercise, activities all part of the routine.... she was a PEACH a really sweet one at that. I had her moved to a NH facility a great one (3 years now) they weened her off of some psych meds .... Well let's just say I saw the dark cloud moving in and the staff said ...she's fine she's fine....she's only like that with you. it's the dementia I said "it's not the dementia, I am concerned about, she's not acting herself, I am concerned about her behavioral change," they said "Well she's sweet to us.... not a problem!!!" ..I said ."I don't care if she treats me badly" "I know my Mom and I am telling you your going to have a disaster on your hands with her on the lower doses."
"Well just make A NOTE in your log book I WARNED YOU!!!!!....."
So I told them " I'm just stopping in for short visits because when I am here she's not happy, she gets angry and will make it hard on everyone to care for her after I leave, (once Mom is in a mood ....YIKES!!!!) if you need me call me.
I decided in my mind.... OK then...they will see how she gets, LMAO, then I'll never need to go through explaining this again.
A few week later I get a call "your Mom won't shower, refuses to get dressed, won't take meds, isn't sleeping, won't let anyone touch her, she has become impossible to care for. What do we do??? "
I said go back in the log book and look for the medication change and me warning you that the meds changed and so has her behavior!!!! Logical answer is the medication needs to be altered to make her stable. I am not telling you to sedate her just make her stable. I talked to the psych Dr and I explained my Mom's personality and she got it. It took a few months of adjusting but she's been a PEACH EVER SINCE!!!!!!
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Agressiveness will just get worse with a change of environment. I would call his doctor. One of my CNA's clients was given a 2 week notice for her behavior at a fulltime daycare and her dr started medicating her with depakote. By the time the 2 weeks was up, the daycare said she was fine to stay now as it calmed her right down. Her husband was so hurt and upset he took her home and got fulltime care while he works. best of luck, I hope this gets settled but dont you get sick over it, take care. Tough getting Old !
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nenie86 You have gotten excellent advice here ... ombudsman is definitely the first call to make. The second thing I would do is... go to the facility he is or was at and demand (nicely) the paperwork of the doctors orders to have him removed, you need proof of their reasons for the transfer.(medicaid will need this at some point most likely) It sounds to me like they are trying to help him, if they "are' placing him in a behavioral health type of facility. This may be temporary. Don't be afraid to ask.
I don't think it would be wise for you to sign anything agreeing or discharging him from the current facility. This is not your choice it is theirs. Or admitting him to another facility. If you are the POA make sure you carry these papers with you and sign as "acting agent" not as responsible party.. I would express the need for paperwork about this action in the event you need them at a later date for any reason. The nurses should have a log of his medications and memo's of his behavior during his time at the facility. All this will be helpful for the next facility wherever that is going to be. Every time a person is transferred things get mixed up and confused, it is always beneficial to have any documents, logs, info etc....
In-fact make a log of this date, the phone call conversation, name and job title of who called you, what they said etc. every call you make such as ombudsman, a lawyer, doctors, social workers, whoever you call and do the same thing date, time, names etc. believe me, it will become a whirlwind of confusion for you and you will not remember it all. People wake up when you say well I spoke to you on feb 19, 2013 at noon and you said "blaa blaa" my point being.... Then they know that you are on the ball.... even if you have no idea whats happening, but they will listen to you or get you answers put you through another person if they can't help instead of quick... no answer...useless never ending phone calls. I found it always helps if you act like you are nice, even if you want to choke the person that you need any answers or results from, either in person or on the phone.
Oh!!! helpful hint... say I know you busy but try understand my situation, I'm trying to do what's best for my husband this is my only intention.
P.S. don't sign anything without reading everything sometimes a persons job is to get you to help them to do the next step.... and it may seem in your best interest, but if it's not clear and you feel pressured take your time....you'll get answers because they need something from you to move along... so just be careful.
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i just wanted to say how amazing it is to see all the information that is available by all of you helping nerie86 in her situation. looks like there are many who can help you nerie as far as getting information that would be needed. i pray all will work out for both you and your hubby. what a blessing this website is.
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you might also want to contact Jacksonville legal aide to see if you qualify for their services
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Tell the facility tomorrow you have contacted the ombudsman and ask them to please delay the transfer until you have time to find out what is going on and to review your choices regarding where he should be placed.

I wish you and your husband the best and hope it all works out for you. you have a right to have information and answers.and look into what vstefans said about trying to find out what caused change.
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Thank you very much for these answers. I was to naïve in accepting what they said. I already called the Ombudsman and left a message...God Bless you for your answers...Nerie86
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They have an assisted living locator via the button at the top of this site, but you might want to go to some of the other sites that include skilled nursing and behavior,
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You could maybe google for other facilities, and also just make sure he has had a good medical evaluation for anything that could be causing the change in behavior. A private room could be a blessing, if it is in a good facility. The ombudsman might be of some help in finding alternatives closer where you can still stay more involved...I wish you and hubby well in this difficult situation.
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contact the fl ombudsman program to find out his rights
http://ombudsman.myflorida.com/ResidentsRights.php

their website states:
A nursing home must give residents 30 days written notice prior to discharge or transfer. A resident who thinks the above rights have been violated must request a hearing in writing within 90 days by sending the form given to them by the facility to: Office of Appeals Hearings.

Requesting a hearing within 10 days stops the removal of the resident until the hearing process is completed. A nursing home resident may request assistance from the Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program.
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