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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I am thr care giver for my Mom and Ihave to go away for three weeks. I'm trying to find a place to leave her until I get back and have had no luck so far.
If I understand the situation correctly, your BIL is in fact helping your MIL by running her business, but declines to do grocery shopping, etc. Depending on the nature of the business, I would think that's a full time commitment in and of itself, and equally as important for her financial stability.
It would be hard for your wife to step in and help with the grocery shopping, What about hiring it done, perhaps a friend who could use the money and is comfortable helping out someone apparently in need?
Personally, I would never try to force anybody, especially a family member to provide hands on caregiving. That would be a recipe for disaster for MIL or BIL and possible the entire family. Some people have it in them to provide hands on care but most cannot. So,find appropriate care forMIL and it is not BIL, you or any other family member from the sounds of it.
vincem, looks like your brother-in-law [wife's brother?] is caught between a rock and a hard place. Does he abandon the family business [his mother's business] and it falls apart, or does he keep the business afloat and ask others to help out.
You mentioned the Mom's sister-in-law is staying with her at the moment... is that the brother-in-law in question's wife?
Please provide more information regarding the health issues of the Mom, to help us get a better picture of what is going on.
Tell us a bit about the MIL. Is she open to going to an assisted living facility? What stage of Alzheimer's is she in? I was thinking that going to a facility might be more enjoyable to her, since she'll be around other people her own age. It would also cost less than 24-hour home care.
I think your question is the BIL is not looking out for his mom who needs care , and, can he somehow be forced to do his duty? I'm going to assume the writer of the original post does not want the responsibility dumped on him/her.
BIL is busy running somebody's business and either can't or won't deal with mom. It would be hard, if not impossible, to legally force him to see to moms care, you can check with a local elder care attorney. If she needs care and no one steps up, notify the authorities and the proper agency in your area will step in. .
So it's also your MIL's business that your BIL is running? This is his mother? Perhaps he feels he's doing his bit by minding the business for her, though presumably it's for a salary. That might raise an eyebrow or two, but I wouldn't say he's necessarily wrong to draw the line at hands-on caregiving or running errands. Does he give reasons?
What has happened to put your MIL suddenly in need of 24/7 care?
this is my mother in-law. No one is living with her at the moment the situation is a week old. Her Sister in law is staying with her, THIS week only. We are in the process of arranging 24 hr. in home care. BIL can come ad go has he wants he's not tied to a desk it's not type of business, he just refusing to help period. .
Your BIL runs his mother's business, which equates to his full-time job. Your wife works full-time, too; and you are retired and incapacitated. Is that about it?
So whose mother is it who needs the help? And who, if any of you, is living with her?
refusing to supply groceries, will not shop for food or bring dinner. He can't loose his job, he runs a business for his mother, this is my brother in-law .My wife and I are left holding the bag if will. I am retired and unable to work, on S.S my wife works sometimes 50 hrs. a week I know this a family problem but it would be nice for a help once in a while
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It would be hard for your wife to step in and help with the grocery shopping, What about hiring it done, perhaps a friend who could use the money and is comfortable helping out someone apparently in need?
You mentioned the Mom's sister-in-law is staying with her at the moment... is that the brother-in-law in question's wife?
Please provide more information regarding the health issues of the Mom, to help us get a better picture of what is going on.
BIL is busy running somebody's business and either can't or won't deal with mom. It would be hard, if not impossible, to legally force him to see to moms care, you can check with a local elder care attorney. If she needs care and no one steps up, notify the authorities and the proper agency in your area will step in.
.
What has happened to put your MIL suddenly in need of 24/7 care?
Your BIL runs his mother's business, which equates to his full-time job. Your wife works full-time, too; and you are retired and incapacitated. Is that about it?
So whose mother is it who needs the help? And who, if any of you, is living with her?