Long story short. She then filed for divorce months later and stopped paying nursing home bill. We hired attorney on his behalf. Could no longer continue to pay out of pocket. Divorce was granted without him having representation. Once we received the ability to manage his funds, it was less then what was stated on financial declaration. We paid everything we could to nursing home and settle his debt, between his SS, Pension and long term care insurance, he is in arrears 2K a month.
We just received a letter from attorney on nursing home's behalf threatening to send him to collections. He has little to no money left. He is not eligible for Medicaid as look back period is 5 years and she had him sign quit claim deed for the condo in ND in 1/2016.
What is our responsibility to respond to this letter? We want to remove ourselves as POA. Difficult to find help as we live in WA state and need to find attorney in ND. Can't seem to find any that will help or even know where to begin with this mess. Any recommendations?
It seems to me that your best bet is to work with the social worker at the facility on next steps. Explain the money/divorce situation and that you have no difficulty with giving up POA and allowing the State to become his guardian.
This is your first rodeo, but she will have seen this situation before and may be your best source of advice and referral.
As noted by others, do not use your funds in this endeavor and remember that some social workers use guilt to try to make relatives think they are personally responsible (you're not). If that is the case, the state ombudsman would be the next call you make to advocate for your loved one.
I'm so sorry you are mired in this awful situation.
Secondly, who is watching out over your father in law and making sure he s being properly cared for? Where is your husband? Does he have any siblings? This is his father.
What do you mean your husband wants to give up POA and you both just want to be done with it? Am I missing something here?
Your husband is going to abandon his father. If there's one thing I've learned in life is to watch how people treat other people. You can expect the same treatment from them eventually. Don't get real sick is all I can say for you with a husband who wants to give up POA for his father and let the state take care of him.
That poor man. I can only imagine his loneliness and hurt. At 93 he's in a nursing home and appears he is alone with no one to care. His wife robbed him and left and his son doesn't want to be bothered it seems. Being a parent is a thankless job. Really a shame this is happening to him.
Is there a nursing home close by you where he an be transferred to? He is elderly and needs help. He should be eligible for Medicaid. It's as easy as applying online for him.
He only gets about $2,000/per month. Medicaid will pay a portion and your father in law will pay the rest. He'll be allowed to keep $105/month which can be used for personal items. I'm sure he could use a haircut , shave, some slippers, shirts, pants, pajamas, etc.
Be well!
2 - You need a ND lawyer that specializes in family law - one that specializes in elder law would be better.
3 - Talk to social services at nursing home - they all have one. Let them know FIL's situation and ask for their help.
4 - Find the elder care board for his state, city, county... whichever one you can find for help. If that doesn't work try AARP and local BBB.
Also, inquire about the POA's duty. It's not really their legal duty to pay the debts with their personal funds, but, only those that of the person who's finances they are managing. An attorney who is well versed in Medicaid should be able to lay out the options.
https://nelf.org/search/custom.asp?id=5427
Also, if you resign as PoA the NH or the county will pursue guardianship over him, and I'm not sure if that will then allow him to qualify for Medicaid. Not sure what happens when some is "abandoned" (and I know you are not really abandoning him). If this happens all assets and properties will then be controlled by the guardian and you won't be privy to any of their actions, nor will you be able to dictate where he is placed for care. You can certainly retain your relationship with him and communicate things to the guardian, you just won't be make any decisions on his behalf. They will inform you when he passes and the county will pay for his cremation. He will not be given a funeral or have a non-cremation burial. You can request his ashes and they will ship it to you. This is how it happened for our family in MN. I'm sorry for your family's distress. May you get resolution and receive peace in your hearts.