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OK. It is time to tell the truth and shame the devil. First of the language. FIL is not FIL because you are not married. Does FIL has substance abuse issues but so do you and girlfriend which I suspect lead to the baby's health issue. You might be locked up for a traffic accident let us see that is not normal unless you were DUI suspended licenses or no insurance. HMMMM... You don't mention baby's needs or girlfriend's. You got to leave what about baby and mother. You are concerned for you. I don't care if he likes me or not. Dude straight up addict behavior. No healthy person would put their child or self or mother of their child in this compromised and sick environment unless they were addicts too. Bet you and girlfriend are popping pills as well. And the math girlfriend is 17 now and baby is 2 which means girlfriend was either almost 15 or just turned 15 when you got her pregnant. That is straight up a felony. You are a predator. You got achild pregnant. Stop looking for an excuse to run and put the responsibility on someone else. You created this problem. You are never going to marry girlfriend because you would have already done so. Reasons why you will not marry you. Your well to do family will completely disown you because they think the girlfriend is after their money a gold digger, they have distanced themselves from you because of your addiction and how many rehabs have you been in. Family is practicing Tough Love. Family will take you back when you get your life together but they never will take you back with girlfriend and baby. Wonder if daughter and girlfriend are aware of this little fact. Agency benefits are for mother and child not available if she is married. Kicked out of apartment. Must have been an assistance from a welfare agency and either there were drugs involved or you were living there. Welfare doesn't support baby daddy. At 17 and 20 you guys do not have the skills or education to be able to support yourselves or eat. But you have a car. You and girlfriend were living large and beyond responsible boundaries and created a huge mess that will last a lifetime. Sad thing is the baby will pay the highest price the mother will pay a high price. You will walk away blaming everybody else and find a new victim. All three of you need rehab and the commitment to live a life in recovery. Father has problems which he needs to fix. Girlfriend is in a world of hurt and dude this is on you. You are a mooch living off of girlfriend and family and you are soooo working on your exit plan. Please get help. This is a site for aging problems and there are many and heartbreaking. You stumbled on to this site and are asking people to co sign your bs. Dude this is on YOU. Even the language you used is geared to this audience FIL fiance. Stop manipulating. If you have enough time and skill to navigate the web to get a posse you have time and skill to work. Get off of this site. My prayers for baby mother and grandfather. My prayer for you get sober grow up and I hope others will recognize you for what you really are. Find a 12 step meeting for you. And yeah, what drugs did you give the only innocent victim before she was born. You care about you and that is all.
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Michael, you have some good advice here and I hope you take it quickly. Your FIL is using you and your fiancée to wait on him hand and foot while he sits in his chair and barks orders. His waking her up to get him a sprite and blanket did it for me. If I were you, I would talk to an apartment manager and explain the situation on why you need an apartment. Find one across town from this FIL too. Sometimes, you'll run across someone who will help you but may have to ask for a first month, last month and deposit to get you approved. Whatever it takes, get approval. Even if you have to ask her family for help or your family to help. Move now, get started on the job and get your daughter started in her daycare. Let the FIL fend for himself. From your description, he'll make out just fine. He's learned to use the system and will no doubt find someone else to "help" him get stuff. Tell him to hire someone to clean, cook and fetch his sprites or do it himself. He's not too ill to do it, he's just too lazy to do it so stop worrying about him. Tell your fiancée that you've had enough from someone who is cruel, insensitive and offensive and you three need your own space from now on or your relationship will fail. Once you are in your new apartment, working at your new job and your daughter is in a good daycare, your fiancée will see that you have made the right decision for all of you. Go see the FIL once a month at first until you see a change in attitude and maybe you can visit more often but not until he realizes what he's doing to you. It's unhealthy to be so dependent on a parent's attention that she will do anything to be noticed and given attention. You need to get her away from him. If across town is far enough, move to another city close by. Good luck with your move and new job.
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sorry, I meant to say "if across town is not far enough, move to another city close by."
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Hi - some good answers here, and michaelc good luck with the new job! I didn't see anyone query this, if you need cooperative living for a while how about the grandmother? Altho she enables her son too, maybe she is someone who could really use help around the house and someone to make sure she's okay! I've never heard of a baby having a stroke, I'm so sorry that happened and hope she's going to be okay? You're coming of age now, stay strong and driven, and also I second th recommendation to fit in Alanon meetings when you can. Best wishes!
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