My father remarried at 87 to a younger woman 23 years younger. No one really knows how the two met. She moved in with him. She has isolated him. I have to go through the new wife to speak to my father. Now, she has moved him to different place: one of her properties. I do not trust this woman. My sister was previously the financial power of attorney and I was the healthcare POA. I am unsure of the new wife's mental health status. She seems to be not very stable. My sister has "washed her hands of this mess", I am unsure of what to do ? Any advice helpful.
When did they get married?
Make surprise visits to see your dad, Make sure he is getting fed, getting his meds, and getting out to see his friends and family. If dad appears incompetent, you may need to invoke your POA (get lawyer advice before you do). If you are concerned that his new wife is abusive, report to elder care division of your police department.
I have texted dad's new wife, made phone calls. Recently called and local sheriffs office to do a welfare check when wife would not answer my phone calls or text.
After this phone call, did speak to my dad after sheriff visit and spoke to wife and I told her my expectation of her was when I called to answer the phone or texts and that I did not trust her.
Oh by the way, they were married on my deceased mother's birthday.
If any of you still has access to the finances, do what you have to do immediately to prevent her access to those. An attorney, maybe, to stop his/her access for his own financial good. Giving away his money and assets by way of new wife could create issues for him if he needs nursing home care later on. An attorney may be able to investigate new wife for prior issues to show there is a problem.
Call your father's lawyer and make an appointment. Find out if your sister is still the financial power of attorney. If she still is, make her stick to it and you retain your father's healthcare POA. This is no time to change anything. New wife will not allow it.
My brother's new wife talked him into selling the house he had lived in with his former wife and building another. (No kidding, so she could get her half when they split up). While they were building the new house on the lake lot my bother inherited from our parents, new wife managed to throw away all of the furniture in the old place that was my parents' lake house. She wanted new stuff.
Long story short, they split up, he lost his job, he almost lost the house. He had not spoken to any family (or friends) for the three years he was married to her.
I encourage you to Google and to research, 'Narcissistic Abuse'. It will open your eyes to what is likely going on with your father.
Good luck.
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