My daughter who is now 36 has been in a nursing home for the past 10 years. tbi from a car accident. I have been visiting her every day usually in the mornings before I go to work. I worked in the afternoons . however now my work is finished and I feel I should be visiting or taking my daughter home more. I am feeling so guilty. I feel badly she is in the home bored out of her mind with no visitors except me.
can anyone tell me why or should I feel guilty.
thank you Richard.
There are so many wonderful things to help people use computers today if someone cannot use their hands, if that is a situation for your daughter. This is what Stephen Hawking uses http://www.hawking.org.uk/the-computer.html
Another off-the-wall idea (I'm full of those, LOL!) would be to switch up caregivers, so that you go visit another person in the nursing home and that person's caregiver comes to visit your daughter. It might be somewhat less stressful for both of you to change your visits every other week or a few times a month. And it would offer your daughter and the other person's loved one a change of pace.
Back in the day I worked the TBI floor in a local hospital. Our patients were brought up to the floor as they were waking up from coma and they were with us until they were well enough to go to a long-term facility (either for more rehab or permanently). Then later I worked in an adult daycare for people with TBI. People with TBI are near and dear to my heart.
I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty. Your daughter is in a nursing home because she needs around-the-clock care. You're not expected to be there practically around-the-clock.
Blannie had a great idea. Can you hire an aide to provide companionship to your daughter a few hours a day? Or maybe a few days a week? Home healthcare agencies offer this service. You'll have to run it by the NH first as they will have their own rules that have to be followed but many families opt for this service for their loved ones. It's a great way to supplement your visits and it will allow you to rest easier and not feel the guilt of not visiting as much as you used to.
I think you're a great dad and you're daughter is lucky to have you. And also like blannie said, stay in touch with us. There's a lot of support to be had here.
You're a wonderful father in my book to go as much as you do. My dad was the sort who would never go to a hospital or nursing home.So if I was in your daughter's position, I'd have been SOL with my own father. He loved me, but wouldn't have put himself out in the way you are doing. So my hat's off to you for what you do every day. Don't beat yourself up that you're not doing more. Try to find some help so your load isn't so heavy. And stay in touch with us, you'll find a lot of support here.