caring for a mom. have been for 5 years now since father passed. she has melanoma and possible other, but her decision is no more tests. ( 87, 3rd time cancer). BFF just finished with a full year of treatments. stem cell replacement. she has been deemed clean right now. have older siblings. 3hours and 1 1/2 hours away. I am youngest and single. parents were each others best friends. did not have many outside. mom starting leaning on me. I was ok with it when she was much more mobile. but now it is wearing me out. I get angry at how I feel. I know I shouldn't. work has FMLA but I do not have the financial means to take any time off. everyone needs from me. work, home, friend. I am trying to get all my bills paid off. so I have very little money left for "fun" I am trying to take a children lit class via mail. but that is getting "chorefull." am I crazy? is it too much to ask to want someone to care for me? to send me a card or flowers or take me out to lunch? all my friends at work have left for other jobs. getting together has become more difficult. is it separation anxiety?
You need to talk to you family. Tell them to pick a week they will be able to take THEIR Mother and keep her so you can have some rest. If they hedge--pick a week and tell them what time you will arrive with her. If they don't respond then just show up with her. One of my siblings flew 2000 miles at their own expense to stay with Mom so I could get away. If you don't have a car that will make the trip, rent one. You can make either place in a days drive.
Have you checked about a Senior Day Care near you?
Hang in there. There are a lot of us out here in almost unbearable situations.