I questioned my fiancé about the paid aid hours. His answer was the he did not approve the hours she put down. When the aid was present and the same question was asked, his response was totally unexpected. He said he had approved her putting the hours she puts months ago. I was so hurt and upset. I packed as much as I could and I left. Now he wont let me get the rest of my belongings nor will he answer the phone or door so I can get the rest of my things. I know their are certain laws that protect him. I am at such a loss. I am so hurt at his actions. I have been with this man 11 years before his wreck and been sole care provider the past 4 years. Another women not a paid aid has stepped in and tells me the police say I have to go through her to set up time to get the rest of my things and turn over to her everything and all documents I may have pertaining to him. I don't want to go to jail but I be damned if I will concur with her demands. What can I do?
Depending on the state it could be a common law marriage.
You may have to agree to return or copy any documents that concern him because that would only be fair. So though the advice from the new woman sounds reasonable, I would not believe second hand knowledge.
Get a lawyer....
Due to the HIPAA law, you can tell them that you just can't give these documents to just anyone. Insist that they present to you their POA document or any other document notarized that they are acting in behalf of him. I think the police and the medical community would understand why you don't want to release such sensitive documents to just to anyone.
IF the police will be there so that you can retrieve your belongings - remember this - they will ASK the homeowner if you can enter and retrieve your stuff. The homeowner can say No. If he does, then your only recourse is through the small claims court. By then, if I was a spiteful caregiver, I'd make sure your stuff gets 'lost.' At the small claims court, you will need to have proof that you own those things.
I am not asking these questions to upset you, I am asking because it seems your leaving has much more behind it than his not being honest about the hours the aide worked or charged for....
Please take some time to really get in touch with what is going on... if you want to stay gone, then do so , by all means.... I don't know the law on getting your things... I do know you can call for an assist with the police, for them to standby while you get the rest of your things.... don't know who this woman is that you spoke of, but don't allow yourself to be bullied.... call the police and find out what you can do....
I am sorry you took care of this man all this time and it has ended this way.. prayers for you to take care of yourself....
I'm surprised that it blew up like this. There must have been problems before this happened.
However, the rest I stand by: after 11 years, he is not a fiance. You are something else which I will not say here. You are trying to get back on track.
You are going to have to cut your losses in my opinion: being unmarried you will not have the same rights as if you had the marriage contract.
but kudos for leaving. You may very well try asking police for help but I am afraid you are on the losing end.
Do you want to live the rest of your life this way? It will NOT change.
You are not married to him, and your status in the courts is not quite the same as if you were married.
You are trying to get into some sort of power struggle. I know you are invested emotionally, leaving will be a horrible wrench.
you have only a few choices: leave, stay and tolerate it, fight and it will escalate to where he may well boot you out or try and boot you out. It is obvious things will be fabricated and trumped up.
LEAVE.
Asking your finance the question about the hours in front of the care aid may have put him on the spot. People who are dependent on others have a difficult time when confronting the very people who they depend upon. I can see how he might have felt he had to say what he did, even if it wasn't the truth. Or perhaps there was a miscommunication. But, whatever it was, it looks like things are much different now. I would get legal advice to see what has transpired and how you could be legally evicted from a place you were staying without notice and proper service.
Is there a restraining order?
Is sounds like a very odd situation.