The situation is that my wife is in a nursing home, probably permanently, since she has a host of health problems, both physical and mental. Such Advance Directives, Wills, etc. as we have are either woefully out of date or non-existent. I'm just about to begin working with an elder law attorney to get a new and complete set of documents drawn up for my wife and me, but I literally don't have any family members to call on to serve as my agents, executors, etc.
Because of my wife's condition, I don't think she should be appointed to act in this capacity. I've approached several friends about serving as my agent, and all of them have turned me down, because the duties involved (especially with the Medical POA) could potentially very time-consuming and stressful for anyone to contemplate. I can totally understand why these folks have turned me down, and I do have a couple of other possible candidates whom I haven't approached yet. But I'm getting worried that I may not be able to find anyone to act in that capacity for me.
What can/should I do?
(There are other big problems relating to this whole process, but I'll save them for a separate query at some point. No sense muddying the waters any more than they already are.)
Thanks in advance for any good ideas!
The more you will be relying on medical staff to make decisions for you in the absence of a personal agent/advocate, the more important it is to be as clear and comprehensive as possible in stating your medical wishes.
I agree that naming your wife is not appropriate.