Follow
Share

And think you are losing your mind!? I have been caring for my mom for 6 years, and have to hide everything, my bedroom had turned into a storage unit, which adds to my own stress. She had no memory of having done so. If I were to keep bills, keys cell phone ect.. out I can spend days trying to find them. I wiil say I just set that down 5 mins ago, where is it. The stess is constant, and lately everything is frustating me. I am tired all the time. Who of you are dealing with this issue?
Thanks for listening Jaz

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing

32 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2
Get bigger pockets. Buy a lightweight jacket with lots of pockets. Put stuff on high shelves. It's just like having a toddler around. Leave little trinkets around that she can hoard and hide, like the junk mail, old keys, old cell phones.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Hi, Well I live in Arizona, so no jackets aloud, lol. I do put things on top shelves, yet she is too smart to deal with the fake keys. She has put too many things in too many spots, in which I can not eve keep the house clean.If I give her junk mail she will keep it, and just make more of a mess. I know that less is more, in that too much stuff, is just too confusing. She feels stressed out, and as do I in that I can not keep hte house up. I do get giving them somhting else to handle, and feel good about, yet I have a house on overload.Great Ideas, if I had more room. Thanks so much andy thoughts are great thoughts.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I know exactly how frustrating this is.
My mum touches everything and hides everything... It always amazes me how quickly she can move or undo things, I fold a basket of washing and if I don't put it away within 10 seconds it is all unfolded and hidden around the house.
A friend gave us a box of walnuts off her tree and I continued to find them hidden all over the place for months...in my slippers, my car, inside pillows, hidden behind shampoo in the bathroom...I had to laugh in the end.
I find the best way to deal with it is to put anything important/ paperwork etc in a locked cabinet .
I have her bedroom very basic, just her bed, table and photos on the wall, with just a few things of hers on her bedside table . You will find that most of the time they have specific places where they hide things for " safety ". As mums room is uncluttered it is easy for me to find what she may have hidden.
Mostly she stashes things under her pillow, behind her door or under her bedside table or in her handbag or pockets.
I also have out a basket in her room with some cards people have sent her and nic nacs which she loves to rummage through.
I have had to put a lock on the dressing room as she would constantly get clothes and shoes out and put them in these places in her room- it was constant and stressing me out.
Now she doesn't even try to go into the dressing room unless I go in to help her get dressed as she knows it is locked.
Also I reccomend you check bins before putting the rubbish out... I found a diamond ring in our kitchen bin once!
Good luck!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Yup part of dementia...

Does she take any medication for her anxiety?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Yes. I have the same problem. I have a special box for bills. All of her medicine (not in the pill wheel), and other papers and materials that are essential have all stayed in a closet in my bedroom. I have had to put a lock on my bedroom door when we have a respite caregiver (I should have done that sooner before things went "missing"), and we had to cut a hole for a pet door for our cats to go in and out of our bedroom door when it is locked. Those measures have made things less frantic, with less missing items and less disturbing surprises. I have told my wife not to leave her purse laying around, but she takes it with her or puts it in our bedroom.

In addition, every piece of furniture, etc., can be a "stash" place. We have just had to keep checking furniture, bed, trash cans, for anything inappropriately "stashed."
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
I also agree with the suggestions on pockets. I have pockets in everything to help me keep things from "laying around." I think pockets end up becoming part of the uniform of any Alzheimer's Disease caregiver.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
A locking cabinet was my first idea. Or if she can't reach high... a place for keys and such on top something she can't get to. Crazy making!!!! : (
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
PS: If you can, I have trained my husband (who disappears things) that certain things, like vehicle keys, have a bowl where they must be returned. Doesn't always work, but often does.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My place has 2 bedrooms, and I took the smaller one when I moved her in with me. I sleep and work there. I'd never have dreamed this would happen, the constant picking up, hiding what I don't want her to mess with, the bathroom situation where I sure don't want her using my toothbrush, etc. I do the smocks with pockets thing just to keep my keys on me. You learn as you go, constantly have to outthink them, but some things disappear you know not where, ha-ha. Mom loses her purse/billfold 5 times a day in her bedroom. She can wreck her closet in 5 minutes, putting things inside out and upside down on hangers to where you can't figure out how in the world she did it. I live for the day when I can reclaim my little house. As time goes on, will be ditching lots of clutter, hers and mine both.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Don't know the answer since everyone is different, but do know this is common for those with Alzheimer's. Husband (the Stash Master) hides and hoards everything from junk mail to old candy wrappers. The more important items; TV remote, car keys, wallet, small flashlight and electric razor he carries around in his pants and shirt pockets. After 4 years of dealing with this, I just let it go. Called the local cable company and got an extra TV remote after hubby continued to play with all the buttons on HIS remote eventually causing the TV not to work. After placing a dozen or so calls to technical support and once the extra remote was received, programed the code, then took the batteries out and gave it to hubby. Two fold--no one could watch TV because the remote was always in his pocket. Now he can merrily press all the buttons he wants and does no harm! Also have a spare key to HIS car, which stays in the garage since he can no longer drive. When going to bed, the remote, wallet, flashlight are stuck under his pillow. What drives me crazy is he mixes his dirty clothes in his dresser drawer with his clean clothes. Dressers drawers are a nightmare, can't see the tops of the chairs or cedar chest with the mounds of clothes and debris. Has a ballistic fit if he sees me going into HIS bedroom. Nothing can be touched! Nothing. The room looks like a bomb went off! Clothes hampers do not exist in this house. My question is, why do they hoard everything! We have tools that are over 100 years old! I don't even know what they are!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
When my aunt began to hide things, I was astounded. After reading all of these posts, I am more than astounded. What a weird thing that our brains go to doing this weird habit. I found a soiled Depends, neatly tied up in a grocery bag, under her pillow a week ago! I took her to the dr. the other day, and when I went to get her shoes, I could see there was something in there. Yep, it was an unopened Ding Dong. In her chair cushion, I have found spoons, forks, banana peels and unopened little candy bars. She put the coffee pot on the floor next to her chair yesterday. What is up with this trait?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Have the same problem with my husband. Most important thing is to always keep the car keys hidden in case they decide to drive the car. My doctor told me this was especially important as the dementia gets worse. I keep the keys in my purse hidden under potholders in a kitchen cabinet he has never yet gone. into. I keep the spare key in bottom bureau drawer that he can't bend down to and hidden under my clothes. I keep the phone in my pocket all day. Had to keep my cell phone in my purse because he kept taking it, even though he doesn't know how to use it. The TV remotes are also hidden. He is fascinated with his wallet which he even sleeps with. He lost his medical ID so after I replaced it, I took all of his important papers and ID's out, made copies of them, and put them in his wallet. I then took the real stuff and put them in a small wallet which I keep in my purse. When people come over they know to hide their phones. You just have to keep one step ahead of them.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
I love this group! Without you all I would think I was crazy! Four years ago I moved Mom and Dad and 28,000 pounds of their stuff to their new house. Dad is an avid collector of "stuff". In the move I personally moved a large car load of valuables that were not to be entrusted to the movers, but there were still some guns and things that were with the moving company. Trust me EVERYTHING was moved. Dad insisted that two guns were missing , ranted raved , was upset with me for being so careless and ultimately was sure the movers stole his stuff and if he could have found his way back to NJ he would have confronted them. He did call them repeatedly on the phone. We searched high and low and I do remember where they were packed etc. But he could not find them. Well, Four years later it turns out that he had taken them and hidden them very well it seems. Finally found them last month...crazy making! Had to have the mail address changed so he only gets junk mail as the bills were not being a paid. FIL also cannot differentiate between junk mail and stuff that he needs to keep so I dash out there every day, lest he send my stuff to the trash and to save his important stuff as well. He saves so much junk that he put it in the dresser and takes up drawer space and then has no place for actual clothing. He also has a fixation with the thrift store and brings all sorts of stuff home to hoard and fill the closet again with no room for clothes. Must have been going on for ages as I found 23 coffee pots when we cleaned out his apartment!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
I have the same problem. As frustrating as it is, I hope this little senerio make you laugh. My mom can still stay at home alone but she does touch and move everything. We have a dog and in the morning i leave her with treats and chew toys so she won't be bored. By the time I get home, mom has hidden her treats all over the house. The poor dog walks around when I come home to show me where they are hidden so I can give them to her. I also had to stop buying the bacon looking treats because I discovered mom was eating them. When I told her that was a dog treat she just said well it tastes good and ate another piece. Geez. Anyway, I have a locked cedar robe and all important mail, pills, anything I need to be able to find is locked in there when I go to work. I let her do what she wants with the junk mail...keeps her occupied. Last mistake i made was bringing in the mail which included a small electronic device for my car (a snapshot device from the insurance company). I hide it in my room but not well enough. By the time I got home from exercise class, the box had been opened and the dog chewed the device to pieces. At first I was upset but then I laughed at my own stupidity for not locking it away.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Thanks, everyone, for the laughs....I needed it this morning.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My mothers Yorkie has chewed up two $1300.00 hearing aids this year! No longer have insurance, can't get it. She has FINALLY started putting it in a ring box and sometimes disconnects the battery (to make it last longer). Then forgets to put it back in her ear. We tried having her sleep in it but it came out in the night and the dog found it first.
Yes, it is trying on the nerves and I sometimes lose patience. She swore to me the other day that I messed up her meds box because she should be taking the larger about of pills in the A.M. I explained, again, that if the blue pill is in the slot it is ALWAYS morning meds. She had skipped two doses, ( morning) because she thought the wrong ones came out. Also she has two sleeping pills in her night meds. If I call and she's sleeping I know she manipulated her med dispenser to get the night meds. UGH! She knows I'm doing all I can to help her and I admit when I'm wrong and she is right. She needs to trust me.
I gave her back a 3.5 carat diamond ring she gave me before her greedy husband died, but in a week she had probably hide it for we can't find it. I suspect when we move her we'll find it, don't think anyone in the retirement home would keep it.
So yes, moving, hiding, even giving away things I have bought for her is a problem. I need a lot of prayer to do this! Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
just an fyi a tampon box is a good place to stash items esp from men. Also depending on your style of dressers their may or may not be a board under the bottom drawer which can be a good spot to stash items away.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I love this topic. It sure hits close to home and as I read each post, I find something similar or exactly like what we are going through. Like my husband says, if we don't laugh about it, we would cry. But, I think the cry part fits him. His keys with every key to every lock we have are missing and have been for months. So mine came up missing, too. I found mine in a bag that I keep packed for her when she has a hospital stay, tucked away in the very bottom, hidden in the corner. My bills come up missing all the time, she doesn't seem to bother junk mail though. Our bedroom, too, looks like a storage unit. My husband said when you come in with important papers or anything you need, take it straight to the bedroom! So I do! She used to tuck away used depends, but now I am looked for a badly soiled pair of pj pants that she has stashed. Oh my, what a lifestyle! My best wishes and thoughts are with you guys!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Good morning all! So, yesterday I changed my aunt's sheets. As I pulled the fitted sheet off at the head of her bed where she sleeps, I noticed as I looked down between the mattress and the headboard, there were pieces of toilet paper down on the carpet. I reached down and grabbed them all up. There were four or five pee soaked, then dried pieces and a dried up peanut sized piece of poop. She is freaking notorious for putting toilet paper in her Depends. I've witnessed her in the process of putting pieces of toilet paper OVER A PILE OF CRAP!!!!! I cannot for the life of me get her to stop doing that. These nasty pieces of TP no doubt came from her reaching into her pants and digging them out and throwing them down there while she's in bed at night. That's the only conclusion I can come up with. WTF?! This disease is a total mind blower for me. And, that's the point. Don't try to figure it out, you'll be like a dog chasing it's tail. On that note, have a great Friday and weekend, everyone!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
We've been hunting all week for a pair of sunglasses my husband has misplaced. Finally, I just told him I would replace them with the new prescription so he won't feel so bad. It stresses him to lose things as does most people. One day you will get your room back and find all those lost items.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My husband reaches in his Depends and pulls out the poop too. I've found it on his dresser, under the bed, on the floor, in my bathroom sink, in his sink, in his denture cup, in the laundry hamper.....you name it! This is the most frustrating thing of all that I go through. He gets it on his hands and the walls, etc. It seems I'm always walking around with paper towels and disinfectants!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
For those of you dealing with the poor hiding; that's not so funny. I read about this on another post a long time ago and there were some good answers about ways to keep people from getting access to their underwear. At school, we had one boy wearing overalls and another wearing a leotard. I think there were other suggestions, so maybe if you open up a new question, you will find someone with some answers. So sorry you are having to put up with this!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
What has been your experience with nursing or assisted living homes regarding stolen goods? I can give 3 examples of personal items being stolen from relatives or friends' relatives at these homes:

1) a sweater from a friend's mother.
2) 2 jackets stolen out of a closet where my Aunte now lives.
3) 2 sets of $1,000 hearing aids stolen from a friend's father.

Don't be gullible on this one. None of these things have been recovered.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Jasmin yes!! mum puts butter in the bread bin,milk in the cupboard,i have to get up early to grab the post OR she will tear up her doc apts! My room is a mess 48yrs of my life scrunched into one room as she loses everything. She is always losing her teeth,hearing aid slippers earings you name it its an absolute nightmare!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Well , I found 11 bags of candy squirreled away and 3 boxes of cracker in FIL the diabetic's room. Sigh, so glad I make special meals.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Jazmine1: It seems hiding items is very common with those suffering from Alzheimer's. As I mentioned in a previous answer several weeks ago, my husband carries everything he can get in his pockets...TV remote, car keys, flashlight, wallet, x-lax, crumbled up junk mail, cell phone (that he doesn't have a clue how to use) half-melted candy, toothpicks, paper clips, etc. His dresser drawers are so messed up nothing would surprise me. He rolls his electric shavers (6) in tee shirts or deposits them in socks, empty rolls of toilet tissues are found with handkerchiefs inside, money is squirreled away in toothbrush carrying cases, old cameras are lying about that are over 50 years old. Manuals of items he no longer has, screwdrivers, nails, etc., the list never ends. If items are needed everyday such as---medicines, house and car keys, I would suggest locking these items away and keeping a spare key where you know your parent or spouse would not look. Good luck Jazmine. It can be embarrassing and exasperating at times. There are things we haven't found in 7 years!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Oh geesh, we have a new thing to hide now, "pee depends"! And, if she can get away with it, her "pee pants". This evening I found them hanging on her bed rail like she had done laundry! I about died! Now I know why I am getting this pee smell all over my house and I am tired of chasing down flies every little bit. Now I know why they are in here. Any suggestions? I have tried everything! Thanks!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
I look around every where my aunt goes, every few hours. That way, you keep up with the soiled Depends and the smell. Lots of air freshener helps, too! They will never stop hiding the Depends. I am now present at each changing, so I take them immediately and throw them away in the garage.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I am so happy I found this website with all your posts. My husband also sleeps with his wallet and he constantly is counting his money. He losses his I'd for our complex and I had to pay $20.00 for another one only to have him find it in the dishwasher. He constantly talks about how I took his car and sold it and I am a demon for what I did. Ian trying to get him to day care. Does anyone have an idea of how to get him there. I tried telling him they needed volunteers and that did not work.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
HA!! sad but funny!!!! mum doesnt even hide her depends they are EVERYWHERE! no not even hidden! No she likes to hide "important stuff" like her birthcerts etc....house deeds,her will thats all hidden probably in the walls??

Latest thing she is doing now is going through my handbag and throwing away all the docs apts letters. I really wonder if she has dementia? how can you be "mad" and devious as a fox???

Good thing though she hides chocolate bars so im always finding them around which is great when youve nothing sweet to hand. See there are positives to this illness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
1 2
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter