Fired home care company for questionable behavior, money transactions by caregivers, missing checks, etc. Any advice?

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Fired home care company for questionable behavior, money transactions by caregivers, missing checks, etc. Any advice?

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My mom and cousin hired this company three years ago. My mom has dementia and was not speaking to me at the time. I live 1800 miles away. Fast forward to November of 2019. She calls me and begs for my help. Her short term memory is gone and I could hear the fear in her voice. I told her I would help her. The first thing I did was fire that company. They knew how bad my mom was and they had my POA for financial and medical on file yet they would not communicate with me. I got no updates, schedules or invoices. The director was rude, condescending, and unprofessional from the get go. My mom kept complaining about items missing and caregivers not showing up or showing up and doing nothing. I was not allowed to talk to a caregiver at anytime unless I called her when she was with my mom. In November my cousin emailed me a years worth of schedules and invoices. Wow. What a wake up call. So many discrepancies, schedule changes, charges on my moms debit card that were fraudulent. I could go on and on. Many concerns are under investigation. It has taken me a month to figure it all out. They sent me an invoice for $650. After all my mom has been through with this company and all the BS I have had to deal with trying to manage her care, I have written a letter with dates, charges, discrepancies, schedule changes, etc. they will not answer my questions. They are sending my mom nasty letters to pay up knowing full well I pay her bills. She doesn’t have enough cognitive ability. She has been ripped off for far more than her final bill. I have written a letter laying out all the fraud, scheduling issues, etc. I am deciding whether to tell them I am not going to pay them for the reasons I just stated. My mom and I have excellent credit and I have never defaulted on any bill or loan. I don’t think they deserve anymore money from my mom. If they’d send it to collections, so be it. Has anyone ever been in this situation. What did you do?

Home Care Long-distance Caregiving Paying for Care

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The biggest lesson learned here is the elderly require some kind of oversight by people who care about them on a very regular basis. NO ONE will look after another the way someone who loves them will. Theft and bad care happens when family/friends are not looking in on someone daily!
Call the Ombudsman's office in your area and ask them about the discrepancies you have found. Call the police and do a report about all of the missing money/property that was not reported via banking issues. The suggestion below about the bonding/insurance company is a good one, too. I'm sure you'll have to ask the company who bonds their employees. You might have to do that in a letter w/copy of your POA attached and note in the letter it is being copied to your attorney....or....ask an attorney to get the process going for you. Once they get a letter like that, they may be done with your mom, too, in regard to billing.

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Before you blow this off, Im a fomer Private Investigator, I disagree with all the answers...just file a claim with the Home health companys insurance policy....end of story. THATS ALL YOU NEED TO DO, CASE CLOSED! (Your spending way too much time dwelling on this, file a claim, with all the proof you have, you will get reimbursed and move on my friend! Life's too short!)

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What to do? Well, family, friends, and strangers who come to care for anyone, even regular healthy human beings just can't be given access to money, unless it's their paycheck. Get the income, assets and credit cards out of the picture. With the technology today, you can access her bills, her bank accounts, and any funds that need to be paid, will have to go through you. You can even install nanny cameras in her home, so you can see if they are doing their jobs or just using the house to hang out and whatever. Tell them your installing cameras in each room and that you will be monitoring their work, or lack of, so they won't be surprised with you call on the phone and tell them it's past time for her bath, breakfast, lunch or dinner. And don't worry about collections, they are there to do a job and your trusting them to give your mother the best care, if they slack, there is another care giver company to take their place. I hate people that take advantage of other people. I would never install cameras and want to watch people I hire to care for my mother, yet while most people are basically good and have a heart, we unfortunately tend to trust the people most likely to steal the shirt off our backs. They play on, and prey on trusting, or disabled people, so they tell us all the things we want to hear. The person who is looked over for a job, just wants to help, and may not say the things you or your mother expect to hear when it comes time to choose the right person. You need to find someone who can be a friend to your mother as well as a caregiver, someone you connect with, and isn't afraid to call you and tell you any developments, or how your mother is doing today, If there was a problem with the daily needs and why. Your mother shouldn't be scared of the people coming to help her, and no one should be handling your mothers money. That shouldn't even factor into their job, they can tell you things your mother needs, and if they are getting those things for your mother, you can have them call you from the store, or you can leave them a card that has some cash on it for necessities. But receipts must be gotten for all purchases, as you have to keep track of the spending and report to family members, an accountant, or whatever you want to tell them. Anything that must be bought, must be run by you first, and they don't hold the card, they are to lock it back in a safe or closet, with receipts and ending balance must be texted, or called in to you at the end of the day. Getting the gist of what I'm telling you. Sorry, the same thing happened to me with my mother, only it was my own sister who nearly lost my mothers house to tax sale, while she was gambling and filling her own home up with such nice things for her boyfriend, kids and grandkids. New everything they had, mom's dead now, and it shouldn't have happened, but once I tamped down on money, the only thing left she could do for my sister, was die and give her her share of the inheritance. It's a sick world, and sometimes it's right in your own family. Good Luck. Keep mom safe.

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Thank you for your reply. I manage my mom’s finances. I finally last November had to cancel all debit cards and shut down current checking account because of missing checks. I watched all of this fraud unfold last year when my mom was upset with me and stopped communication. My cousin said I was overreacting and that the company would never steal from my mom. It infuriated me. The healthcare company refused to speak with me about my concerns. What could I do? When my mom called me for help in November I took action. The new company I hired and the only caregiver she’s had with them is the best. My mom loves and appreciates her. My mom is beginning to trust her. She is excellent with my mom and communicates with me regularly. She has been a gift from God.

The bank and police department are working on the fraud cases. I wrote the healthcare company last year about many scheduling and financial discrepancies. No response. Out of the blue I was copied on an email to my cousin from the HC Director. She said I needed to step in and deal with my mom because they couldn’t deal with her and her accusations. For 10 months I begged them to communicate with me! I did not reply. I talked to my mom and fired the company. Things are much better for my mom for now.

After my original post, I wrote a letter with a check for the final bill. I deducted amount that is being investigated which was 2/3 of final bill. I laid out the issues. I don’t think I’ll hear anymore from them.

I know eventually my mom will need more care. Her case manager is looking into hospice care for her if she qualifies. She is part of a Neighborhood Program so she doesn’t have to travel to office visits. She has an NP and case manager that visit regularly. I handle ALL aspects of her care and financials. With all of that in place, I’m in a much better place than last year at this time.

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Contact an elder law attorney asap!

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I would tell them until the investigation is done u will not pay another dime.
Law enforcement and social services should b involved in this.
Good luck

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Contact a attorney for the elderly. This is a specific kind of law. Make sure you have copies of all the records, and receipts. Go back to the beginning. The bank will have what was withdrawn on microfilm. Go prepared. Have as much hard copy information as possible.
Ggood luck.

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I have all of it documented and hard copies of everything. There are a lot of missing receipts, especially the ones in question. No surprise there.

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This falls under financial elder abuse and should be prosecuted- especially because of the dementia diagnosis. Punishable by 4 years in jail if proven so.

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I would be
1. Calling an elder law attorney
2. Concerned since you were not the one who hired them if you can be the one to fire them
3. Giving a heads up to the local police to let them and maybe the fire dept know your mom has issues
4. Talking to the long term care ombudsmans office for help or advice
5. Not paying the bill until the discrepancies are resolved to your satisfaction and
6 Telling them you are taking the matter to small claims court and will be coming from out of town to do so.
Also contact the local office on aging, area agency on aging and/or adult protective in re to the exploitation risk factor (they may turn it down but you never know). Having a local contact when you are far away may help.
Would mom consider since you seem to have made amends moving closer to where you are?

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My mom will not move back here. I won’t even go there with her.

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You definitely were proactive in addressing needs of your family member. I admire how quickly you intervened. I experienced a similar situation.
First, I would itemize all missing items and put in a police report. You cannot prove anything was stolen, but make the report anyway. Next, use security cameras to check on your loved one at all times. Make sure you do this to prevent theft and neglect. You must let the company know you will have security cameras, as it is an option to caregiver to work under video camera. But it is necessary to supervise home and staff. There are many discrepancies with time keeping that company will try to hide. I suggest using an old fashion time clock in the home. If they don't punch the clock, they don't get paid. No exceptions. Make sure you know the names and addresses and phone numbers of all employees, and that you have FBI Criminal Checks and Child Abuse Checks. Check registry for CNA to be in good standing with state license.
The agency will lie to cover their tracks. I reported my incidents to Supports Coordinator and called the State Department for Aging Care. The would have sent protective services but we held off due to my moms anxiety and heart condition.
Make sure you Yelp publicly about agency so others do not get in same situation with bad company.
Keep your loved ones close to you. Only family intervention makes a difference in dementia care. Most aids are using cell phones, watching television, and do not follow directions for therapeutic rehab. If you can get physical therapy or recreational therapy for dementia patient, it will help improve with right caregiver to handle anxiety for transitions.
We are all going thru this, and if its not addressed legally, we will continue this trend of poor caregiving in homes with boomers.

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My aunt, whom I'll call "Grace" had an in-home care giver named Mona who stole every penny she had. Her sister, my other aunt I'll call "Pearl" came to stay with them after my cousin, Grace's daughter, passed away from ovarian cancer in the same home. The care giver witnessed the illness and death as she was living in home with them. After that Mona started taking over Grace's finances. But Pearl became suspicious because Mona would leave every evening after she thought the two of them were asleep and come back in the early hours of the morning. Turns out she was a gambling addict and was kiting money through several bank accounts from my aunt to fund her outings to the casino. My aunt Pearl was an accountant before retiring and recognized what was happening to her sister's accounts. She called her daughter who took the first flight there and together they phoned the police. As Mona was being arrested, she sneered at them and said she almost had possession of the house. She spent some time in jail and then was back out doing the same line of work with Grace's neighbor!!! She is charming and well liked by older people and even though we warned the neighbor, she kept her as care giver. My poor aunt died in a nursing home a year later and my other aunt went to live with her daughter out of state, so they never saw each other again. Broke my heart. MONA (her real name) needed to either be in jail longer or at least not be allowed to be a care giver any longer.

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You fired the company. The final bill is the least of your worries....

You have bigger problems at home going forward...

My question is what are you going to do going forward with your mom? It sounds like she needs you for more than just a bill but your 1800 miles away????

Time for you to take a trip and maybe help her sell her house?...move her to your town? etc etc...time for that dreaded, but necessary, 'family meeting discussion'

Denentia doesnt get better over time, just worse....im sorry

ps. If you feel she can stay a little longer i would consider in home security cameras where you can monitor her occsionally from 1800 miles away....you have heard of Nest camera where you can put like one on the living room table maybe another one by teh front door.

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I just went to the sentencing of a caregiver who stile checks, forged and stole dads identity. Take it to your lical authorities: DA, sheriff, police...more than likely it’s not the only complaint and they can use your info to put these people away. And maybe get your money back. Also contact the bank - anything that was illegally transacted is insured by FDIC and can be recouped.
They take elder crimes seriously.
Follow through and good luck.

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Re send this letter explaining why you are not paying. CC a copy to the states attorney general office. Explain to them you are planning to file a formal complaint with the states attorney generals office if the are unwilling to cease

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Hey Vdubgirl,

I would be calling the Better Business Bureau, Department of Health, Aging Protective Services and I would be calling the police. What has happened to your mom and your family is a disgrace to the field.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I have never incorporated the services of a professional agency to help care for my mom, who has dementia. Thank you for sharing how even those agencies are capable of criminal activity.

I have gone through literal hell with the caregivers I have hired but have finally been rewarded with a lady who is trustworthy and caring. After she leaves I will be resigning from my employment. I will keep my professional license active so that I can reenter the workforce whwn that time comes.

Again, I am so sorry this has happened and I hope you channel your anger toward focused determination to expose this fraudulent agency.

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Kudos for your thorough documentation of the situation and for jumping in. Who gave POA to the agency? Did your mom? Was she competent to do so? It sounds like you need to contact at least one of the following; 1. The Elder Abuse department of your mom's cit or County if there is one, may be part of the DA's department 2. An Elder Abuse Attorney, you may find one that does pro bono work. This seems like a potential senior abuse case against the firm you hired, 3. Your State should have an agency that this firm is licensed with, contact them. In the meantine buy a safe for your mom. Let her watch you put in all her valuables and tel her everything is safe, including documents. Contact all her billers, have them sign on to pay all her basic recurring bills so nothing gets turned, i.e. water, electricity, etc. to It sounds like you have a lot of moving parts in your situation that require some professional navigation.

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I took over paying my moms bills two years ago. She fought me on it but I did it anyway. She still had a debit card and a checkbook as of last November. When I went to visit December 2019, I explained I had to take her checkbook and debit card away because of fraud. She agreed and let me do so. I went through piles and piles of paperwork, sorted, and organized. That is how I pieced together a lot of this fraud. I visited her bank (I’m co-owner on her account. ) I went over all of it with them. I have a new debit card on the account now and hers is hidden in her house. It is locked at all times. The new caregiver knows where it is and knows it’s locked. If she needs to purchase something unexpected for my mom, she has to call me, tell me where she is going, and send me the receipt when she returns. I re-lock the card. I have established myself with a plumber, electrician, pest control, etc. I’m the contact person for everything. My mom fought me on this but after a month she realized it was to protect her. I have every alert possible set up on my phone for bank transactions. My husband and I are going to visit in the next month. We are going to install cameras. I’ve done all I can do since my mom refuses to move back here.

Twenty years ago I began discussing long term care, finances, and a will or trust with my mom. She wouldn’t hear of it. She was independent and said she could take care of herself. She said she had lots of friends and she didn’t need her only child stepping in and running her life. We all know that was not what I was going to do. Soooooo here we are, she has a few friends (in nursing homes) and I had to spend months sorting through all of this. My mom has not been kind to me most of my life. She’s been controlling and hateful and missed out on so much in our lives. Her only grandson barely knows her. With all of that, I can’t abandon her now. I will help her as much as possible but when the time comes, I’ll need to make difficult decisions and she will hate me once again. I can’t do anything about that. She made choices in her life and now she’s living with the consequences of those choices.

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You cannot be a caregiver when you live apart from your mom--the moment you hire someone it's going to cost plenty of money. Sitting services--people who just sit and do NO hands-on care--costs $20 an hour. When you hire someone who does hands-on care such as bathing and feeding, it's about $35 an hour. Medication administration requires home-health visiting nurses. More money. That's why nursing homes are a lot cheaper and they run about $90,000 a year per patient. Around the clock sitters for one single day is going to run $240 and they do no hands-on care.

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You might want to visit the DA in your parent's county. Similar happened with my parents with a company called "Americare" out of Las Vegas and Oceanside, CA. They got charged and convicted. He is serving 11 years. She is serving a lesser sentence. It was a husband and wife and the court saw it as mostly as the husband who was the crook. We got back a decent percentage of the money paid. Their assets were sold and the money used to pay the victims as much as it could.
It can get complicated so let the law sort it out. Provide all the documentation you can.
I was 1700 miles away but I made a timely visit. That set the ball in motion. There were already complaints with the company so it was not too hard to have the DA take notice.

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Hello V. I'm very sorry that you and mom are going thru this Horrible situation.Im a HHA since early 1980,s.In NYC we have Millions of Home care agencies.The first thing you do when looking care for your mom is What do I need for My mom? WHEN IT comes to handling money...ONLY THRU YOU.
Now they damage the situation...they need to repay.
When you get all the facts call to the department of aging in your mom's community and de department of disable,the department of Alzheimer's and ask to get advice in how to make the agency repay all that was taken.IF YOU see with your own eyes they owe you...BELIVE me if you can get all back. Thru court all is going to return.

Never again let mom handle money...all has to go thru you.
Please call definitely someone is going to advice.Good luck.

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Your biggest problem is your 1800 mi. distance and your mom's refusal to consider moving into assisted living. I went through a similar situation with my mom, 10 yrs ago. She was in her mid 80s and living independently in a senior apartment complex. During the early stages of her dementia, when the private caregiver she had contracted with was similarly stealing from her, my mom thought *I* was somehow traveling hundreds of miles in the middle of the night to slip into her apt. and commit the thefts. With the help of some "friends," went to the bank and to an attorney and had my POAs cancelled. Of course, the thefts continued. She called me up asking for help, which I could no longer provide, since I had no authority.

Although my mother was very intelligent and therefore able to mask her early dementia (she even had her primary care doctor convinced she was perfectly competent, and didn't need dementia screening) she was easily manipulated by whomever she was with at the time. I made the 400 mi. trip, took her back to the attorney, had new POA documents drawn up, and to the bank to have my authority reinstated. Then fate intervened in my favor. Within 24 hrs of my departure, my mom fell in the bathroom and became trapped between the toilet and tub. She was found lying there with a dislocated shoulder and transported to the hospital, where they definitively diagnosed her dementia and refused to let her return to her apartment. A few days later I made another trip to arrange to have her placed in assisted living. She literally threw a temper tantrum in the hospital--which didn't help her case--and with the help of social services her refusals were overruled.

My suggestions are:

1) Report what evidence of theft that you have to the police. In my case, I didn't have much proof. Only after I took over all her accounts and audited them did the patterns of withdrawals and inappropriate "gift" checks, signed by her, become clear. But since she wasn't yet officially legally incompetent at the time, and she was no longer a reliable witness now that she was, there wasn't much chance of a criminal prosecution.
2) Seek the advice of a family law attorney in your mother's state of residence to see what your options are. You need to find out what you can do to get your mom into assisted living near you ASAP, as her mental status will only get worse, and your distance from her is problematic. You may have to go through a two-step process like I did; initial assisted living in her present home town, and then a well-timed move to a second facility near where you live.
3) Do not worry about your mother's credit rating. However, do worry that your mother will respond to the billing notices inappropriately and pay the money herself, perhaps several times over. My mom was doing that during the last few months she was living alone.

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I have a feeling that this isn't uncommon. I would alert the rest of the folks that may need assistance by leaving a review on Yelp, Google, and any other resource that you know of. People read reviews and sometimes that's the only way to get the word out.

BTW: ever notice they tend to have Biblical-esque or saintly names, with "angel" or "shepherd" or "savior" in them? I think I'd prefer "Nancy's In-home care" because then you know who you are dealing with -- Nancy. I digress.

I had in-home care (with a shepherd in the title) for my mother and I thought the experience was very frustrating. I think they played both sides -- they had my mother's trust, but I live 75 miles away, and they never gave me the details of my mother's declining situation. At the time, my mother's dementia had spiraled downward; she saw me as the enemy and wouldn't let me in the house. Naively, I thought my mother would "get better" and the care company said "they'd work with her" (like a preschooler being taught to read). They did assist with getting my mother diagnosed -- it came back severe dementia. Even then, the company said they thought the diagnosis was wrong and I should seek a second opinion. How frustrating for me (and expensive!) The two care providers who went to the doctor's appointment told me that "she answered every question". When I talked directly to the doctor who administered the test, and read the report, it was very clear. Either the two care providers also couldn't answer questions correctly, or they were trying to protect their jobs. The report said my mother needed 24/7 care. My mother went to a care-facility within a week after the diagnosis. The whole experience could have been easier had the in-home company gave me detailed information each day.

Thanks for asking the question so I could (obviously) vent! You have done the right thing in removing them from caring for your mother.

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In times past, I have been reluctant to apply for work with any agency with a Biblical sounding name. I agree with the above poster and those names are disgusting to me when I know that no one is equivalent to an "angel" or any similar thing. If they really were angels they would be working for free. I also know that it's stressful to have total strangers in your home for extended lengths of time even when they're not dishonest since I've had home care before. They really need to stick to formal business names to display more honesty about who they are. I have also worked for people who are unprofessional and insensitive so I know this is common.

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What a nightmare! Please hire an attorney so you and your mom can have peace of mind. Your cousin doesn’t need to be involved anymore if he is making bad decisions regarding your mom. Let an attorney sort it out. Provide as much information as you possibly can.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Best wishes to you and your mom.

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Get thee quickly to the county Ombudsman where the nursing home is located, as well as your local and state Adult Protective Services office. And your state representatives. Report this home-'care' company asap to everyone you can think of. Do not pay another penny. Make sure they are more afraid of what you will do to their reputation than you are of what you think they might do to yours. This agency should make good on all loses. They are bonded, right? Licensed? Surely you chose an agency that has these minimal safeguards in place.

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Disgraceful, it sounds as thought that virtually borders on fraud. I can't say I am impressed with your cousin either, although I know the problems when our LO decides we are out of favour. I would consult an elder lawyer as soon as possible and verbally tell the company that you will not be paying any bill pending your taking legal advice. Beyond that I think you have to wait and see what the lawyer says, ask him what you should put into writing etc. I hope you get the company closed down, you can be sure that if it was happening to your mum she wasn't the only one. Best wishes to you both going forward.

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I would just move on and pay the bill.

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No way !!!

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Until you are ready to put her in a assisted living I highly recommend cameras in the house. I buy tenvis brand from Amazon. They have a 360 view, they will move with the tap of your phone on the app. You put an SD card inside and it record 24/7. You will be able to see everything that goes on in the house. I highly recommend that you consider assisted living at this point. If you are not able to afford it then cameras are the next best thing. I never caught any theft in the house but I certainly caught a lot of behavior that helped me reach the decision that Mom needed to be in Assisted Living.

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How can you be sure that the same behavior does not happen in Assisted Living?

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I am sure there is a state agency with whom you can file a complaint. You need to do this. It won't really help your mom but your actions may protect other families in the future. Also, you can file a complaint with the BBB. I would not be surprised if you went to the BBB website and found that others have already filed complaints. I'm glad you found an agency that you lik;, that must give you peace of mind.

My father had caregivers coming in three hours a day twice a week so he could step out for a bit (this was after an injury from a fall several years ago). He came home early once to find mom soaking in the tub and the caregiver rummaging in her jewelry box. Mom verified later that $300 was missing as well as a piece of jewelry over one hundred years old that had been passed down from her grandmother. My father ordered the woman out of the house and informed the agency he would not need their services any more. I asked him if he filed a police report for theft. Nope. I asked if he filed a complaint with the agency about the caregiver. Nope. He didn't even tell me until several years later. I don't understand the reluctance to file complaints or involve police.

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Not only would I have had this woman fired, I would get the police on her so fast it would make her head swim! This woman does not belong in caregiving!

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I would contact my attorney in this case. Good that you have some documentation to present to her/him. The attorney can get to the bottom of this problem.

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Vdubgirl, I agree with those who suggest contacting a lawyer, especially since you say you have some "proof" of the credit card charges. Also, don't worry about her credit score...what will she need that for anymore? I'm glad you found a good care agency finally, but she wouldn't be so socially isolated if she were in a care community, and you'd be doing a lot less management and have more peace of mind, especially if she were near you. Just something to consider. Let us know how it goes.

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Not to mention you can contact the credit card company and put the charges in dispute...

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I would think this agency is under State inspection. They must have a license of some kind to operate using Certified Nursing Aids. Certification of aides comes under the Nurse licensing board in my state. Call ur State Ombudsman and run it by them.

I would think that the agency would have to address your findings within 30 days. Meaning, with detailed paperwork. Showing the billing, then the check offsetting. I would suggest getting a lawyer involved. Even if legal aid. Call Office of Aging for legal aid info.

I know you want to keep Mom in her home but there will come a time when that is not possible. She will need 24/7 care. Its will be what she needs not what she wants.

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If it is a private company that does not get Medicare reimbursement they can pretty much do whatever they want...but if they do...that's another matter.

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Is there any chance the unhelpful male cousin (or any other family members) are stealing from your mom?

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There aren’t any other family members. My cousin is very well off so I can’t imagine he’d steal from her.

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Fired home care company for questionable behavior, money transactions by caregivers, missing checks, etc. Any advice?

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