My brother (77) shoulders most of the day to day responsibilities at the behest of our mother (99). He is geographically closest to the care facility. My brother, myself, and my mother want my sister's adult children to step up and move their mother to a location near them but as yet, none have offered because, in my opinion, my sister is not easy or pleasant to care for. She's demanding, ungrateful, and takes no responsibility for getting herself well enough to be released. My brother wants out from under the burden, I'm not geographically close enough to be of much help, and of course my mother is too old. My sister's children are all adults and capable of taking over. How can we force the issue? Thanks.
But to try to intervene now by decreeing her children must take action on her behalf is absurd and totally unrealistic. What if it was one of her children writing here and saying "my mother is demanding, ungrateful, and takes no responsibility for getting herself well. My siblings and I have had to distance ourselves from her for our own emotional health. My aunt and uncle are trying to force us to take responsibility for her care. What should we do?" Do you think we would be urging that poster to take over their mother's care? No, indeed!
Sister is in a long-term care facility. Unless you have reason to think she is being neglected or abused, let them take care of her. It is nice of geographically-close Brother to visit her. It is foolish of him to let it become a burden. He should stop taking her repeated phone calls, unless he wants to talk to her. It is entirely up to him. That Sister tries to impose on him is not her children's issue.
If your sister is in a facility, what are the day to day burdens that he bears?
If she is in a long term care center already, as you state in the title, then she already has round the clock care....what exactly still needs to be done? I'd assume that if shes already in a care home, he doesn't need to care for her...just for his mom (which is a huge job in itself).
Angel
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