I’m at my wits end with my 82 year old mother. She has been housebound for over 2 years now and in that time I have arranged Carers, get her shopping every week whilst holding down a full time job and struggling with my own health she was shouting in front of my son last week that I have no feelings and I’m selfish and I’m a nasty person. I have decided to walk away from her as I’ve had enough but can’t help feeling guilty but can’t forgive her for saying all these things about me. Why do I feel guilty?
You can't make her happy until she wants it for herself. Take care of yourself now.
Your mum is acting out probably because she is housebound and frustrated. That doesn't mean she can take it out on you, especially in front of your son.. he doesn't need to see his mum treated that way.
I would tell her that you are happy to be there for her if she is able to treat you with respect and kindness and that you are only interested in a positive relationship with her but if she does not want to do that then it is her choice that you stay away. The decision is up to her, don't feel guilty if she makes the wrong choice.
You are right to back off, she needs to see exactly what you do and then apologize for being so ungrateful and nasty.
Keep your boundaries strong, it will serve you well in the journey ahead.