I have been taking care of Mom for going onto 10 years now. She turned 96 on May 1st. Things are ok as long as Mom will stand for me and walk a little bit from her room to the bathroom . Mom has not been out of the house (except for twice when she was at the hospital and was taken by ambulance) in years. Since last June, she stays upstairs in her bedroom, the stairs became impossible for her and me helping her navigate them. He primary doctor visits once or twice through the year. Basically he just looks at her, says she looks the same as when he last saw her etc. are there doctors, other than her primary, that come to the house? Mom went to the hospital recently. She woke one morning and seemed really lethargic, head hung way down, wouldn't use her legs at all. I did get her from the bed to a chair and she sat hunched over. At the hospital they did say she had a low grade fever of 100.3 that first day. They did a few tests and all came back fine. The diagnosis was just Alzheimer's/dementia. No real reason what caused her to be as she was that morning before. I really think it's up to me to take care of Mom, I'm having a hard time calling anyone to come do an assessment about caregiving a time or two a week. If I should ask for it to be done by a visiting nurse or the Hospice/Pallative care people, the latter I'm told come at least 2 hrs every day, I don't understand that because I get Mom up and readied for the day, washed etc. by 7 a.m. The care people couldn't come that early. My dogs would bark and that's way too early for them to be out barking. So what would they do if they came even around 9 or so everything, would be done.
Agree that you should visit your senior center or possibly your social worker if her primary care doctor or geriatric care doctor has one on staff. Talk to them about you and your mothers needs and they can give you some options once they learn financials, medicare eligibility, etc.
You may want to start with assistance a few hours a day -- to help mom with basic needs and give you a break. Sorry, but you will have to be flexible. It is doubtful (unless you hire and pay privately) that you will find someone before 7am, etc. Prepare a schedule and also decide what "caregiving needs" are most essential and that you want to turn over to other caregiver. Hospice may be possible and her primary care doctor can help issue the request. You are right however, they only come a few days a week for about 2 hrs and that may not be enough time for you. You might consider their 2 hrs plus hire in some private care for an additional 4 hrs or so daily or 3 days per week.
Consider this as investment in your health and wellbeing even if you have to pay some towards mom's care. You could also consider nursing home care (medicare or other).