I help care for my grandmother...she is very difficult to handle..she never tells what she needs..even when I was younger...always difficult to express her needs..no matter how patient u r with her. She goes in the room & expects us to clean. It's all the more difficult now that she needs care...to constantly guess her needs and to make things easier for her..my biggest issue is she refuses to go to the bathroom tho she can walk to it...so we tried making her wear a diaper which she removes...and she relives herself in her room..and expects us to clean it..we tried bedpans..an diaper like I said...this upsets me sometimes and I'm rude to her :( and I hate being tht way...I coming to not like the person I who I'm am around her...she is my grandmother and I love her...I really need help.. But this is really getting to me...I want to do what is right for her and for me !! HELP !!!
Enter the smoothies with flax seed oil in them. The juice with benefiber in it. Fiber gummies. Anything we could get into her to blast it out. Turnip greens. Lots and lots of water. With patience, time, and occasional use of glycerin suppositories and Peri-Colace, we won and she got back onto a regular schedule. It was tough going there for a while.
Senior citizens can become constipated if they are dehydrated and their diet doesn't have enough fiber in it. This every bit as much fun to fix as it is with a 3 year old. If this is the case, talk to the doctor about what kind of stool softener to use and for how long. Don't want her to become dependent on those either.
Personally, that sort of manipulation....forgivable though it may be , would push me to have her in a NH, where frankly they will diaper her up and sedate her if they have to.....they will not put up with the purposely unhousebroken.
Eventually she had a really bad accident out in public and went 180 degrees in the other direction. She could not have on enough pads and briefs. She had on 5-6 layers of pads and briefs AND a girdle over that. She was now waddling like a toddler and had rashes because her skin could not breathe.
Another year has passed and she is no longer ambulatory and both urine and bowel incontinent. Her range of motion in her arms is pretty low. She has no choice whatsoever and probably couldn't get the undergarment off by herself anyway.
I have read on this site that some have had success putting real panties over the disposables, so it feels more secure on the body and "looks" like normal panties.
Some have put the diaper-style undergarment on backwards, with the tapes in the back and a pair of cloth underpants over that.
I've read of situations where the lady was willing to wear her normal panties as the first layer, then the disposable over that, and then another pair of normal panties.
Others have had to start using strip-proof clothes to keep the undergarment on the person. These are clothes that fasten in the back.
It's all a big experiment to find out what is going to work today and hope it still works tomorrow.
Where r your grandmothers children? I think an evaluation is needed. I agree that this should not be ur responsibility.
This has helped to take the pressure of and helped me think...I realized I needed to divert her attention to other things after she wears one...and she has always liked playing board games and simple puzzles..so I got her a few...and she now is busy playing them !!
@txcamper- I agree and understand your concern abt the usage of the term diaper,I probably should not hv used it in a public forum...But I also should hv mentioned earlier that I am from India, here it just is a technical term.
And most definitely not meant to be demeaning to my Grandmother or anyone else.
If it's hot by you, you can still jump in the lake, but it's still too cold, here. I had a glass of wine to chill-out, though. :-)
Here at home, I would never use that term, and Mom and I call them "pads" as she uses the Tena pads.
You don't say in your profile, but is sounds as though your grandmother is suffering from dementia. You can't reason with dementia and you really can't train them either. If you are rude to her, and it might escalate from there, then perhaps it is time for you to make the decision not to be her caregiver anymore. Either let someone else be responsible, or place her in a home where they have equipment and trained personnel to deal with situations as you have described. This could go on for many, many years, and will not improve. People do not get well from dementia.
Do as much reading as you can find and ask as many questions as you come up with. We are all learning as we go along this pathway with our loved ones.