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My Mother fought me tooth and nail. Her main reason that I would take away her freedom. I started receiving phone calls that my Mother was bumping cars in the parking lot for the fire dept ladies aux. I asked two other people that cared about my Mom and could I use their name with the DMV. I went online to the DMV, added my name and the two others AS ANONYMOUS...which you can. I requested a "Driver's Review"... the process all simple. This happened after I had a friend sent me her car keys(I live far away) when she got lost for 2 hours after a ladies meeting at the fire dept. The FD Chief, Firemen, Ladies Aux were all out in pairs looking for her.. I was angry, scared and thinking the worst.She comes home at 12 midnight and why are all these people here? Laughing, she said she made a "wrong turn" when she lives only 5 blocks from her home. I should have asked for the Driver's Review and avoided the family outburst for why I would be so mean to my Mother. Even from my Mother for the following weeks being called the "bad son" and many other names. After things calmed down I put in the DMV request and she received a letter requesting a driver's test six months later...she was angry, tantrums and questioning why this was happening. She went to the test with a friend since she was not allowed to drive to the test. Of course she failed, not making a turn during the test. Her licence was taken away right after the test and her friend drove her home. She thought of every reason why the DMV tester was wrong...what did they know...she had been driving for over 40 years...I just calmed her down. The DMV sent the identification card replacing her driver's lic.by the end of that week YET my Mom thought the identification card was a replacement for her driver's lic. since she believed the DMV admitted their mistake of the driving test and she was right all along. She went on driving without telling me or other family until I went to visit her and asked to see the identification card ...they look exactly the same except for the word Driver's and Identification. We had a huge fight even when I put my driver's lic. next to her new card. She was furious and had a friend driver her to the DMV to request her Driver's Lic. back. Luckily, the DMV asked for her Birth Certificate to start the request. My Mom forgot where the document was and then we started working together to plan out how she would get to Sunday Mass, find a trusted local taxi service and ask friends if they could help out. It is now 4 years later and she has forgotten the fights and does not miss her car. I had called the car insurance, had her policy cancelled and the car sold. It may be an uphill battle yet I am happy her NOT hitting a person, or another car or injuring herself. She could have lost her house and all her assets if someone sued her. I wish and hope the best for you and your Mother!
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I took my husband's keys and hid them. He whined.
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Dr. can inform motor vehicles. First, take the keys. Keep them hidden away from where she lives. I agree with others: She will be angry. That is o.k. She will simmer down and forget about the car. Maybe give her phone # of Taxi Co. and leave some small bills to pay for taxi. She won't feel so isolated;imprisoned.
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If you have an attorney see if they can assist you. My Dad, after being diagnosed with ALZ and passing the doctor ordered drivers exam still continued to drive. We finally asked his attorney to explain to him the ALL the financial liabilities that could happen if Dad had an accident . Dad handed over his keys that day. Great ideas about removing the car as well.
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I meant to type "if you live" not love....sorry
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Did her doctor do a MMSE or MoCa test to determine her cognitive level. That is a good way for her doctor to prove she doesn't have the ability to do a task like driving. Even though you can be made to feel like the villain here...you are actually the savior. Think not of taking something from her but of saving the lives of others. Until you've been in a car accident (if you love) you've no idea what it does to someone mentally let alone physically. Ask me how I know.
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take car in for a false check up and move it somewhere she will not be able to get to it if possible. getting a licence taken away doesn't stop some people and the ID cards look similar at least in my state. my state you can report w/o telling them your name or dr. can do it.
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We disabled my grandfathers car after he almost ran over the grandkids. He has dementia and weak legs. I told him he would not want to kill someone because he isnt able to drive safely. He still was mad but thought his car was just in need of repair. We have to keep the public safe when we see a dangerous situation.
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We unplugged a battery cable on moms car. She couldn't figure out how to start car and gave up after a few weeks of trying and never asked again. It was tough for a few weeks putting off 'fixing her car' but luckily it worked for us!
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Go to the motor vehicle office to relinquish her driver's license in place of an identification card is the ideal situation.
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Go to your Motor Vehicle office and sign the form requesting driver review. Do it today.
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