My husband has been a master craftsman his entire life. He has moderate dementia and now finds these projects impossible to finish without my help. I am not a craftsman. He makes china cabinets and furniture, carves, reconstructs and remodels and a plethora of other wonderful things. We have been blessed with his talent all over our home. I do not work with wood . . but he continues to push for help until I acquiesce. It always causes severe tension and ends up with us not speaking to each other. I don't want to discourage him from doing things he loves. I am trying to encourage him to tackle much less complicated projects. He is relentless. We have spent a small fortune on accessories for his new (3 years old) dove tail jointer . . he has never used it. The directions are to complicated and he want me to show him how to use it. I have no idea and frankly I don't want to know. If I do..than every time he has a project that requires dove tail joints - I will once again be pulled into the mix.
How do I support him and get out of this?
I know that at this stage keeping him mentally and physically moving is important. It is like swimming upstream without the rewards.
I will happily try anything. But this one...I've tried. Thanks so much for your input
For the first time yesterday I saw a show "House Crashers" and enjoyed it, the host has a great sense of humor, makes you laugh. This show features contractor Josh Temple who goes to home improvement stores and while going up and down the aisles will ask people if they need a contractor.... for those who say yes, he will remodel what they need for free. It's a half-hour show, and he shows the homeowners how to use power tools for wood working projects.
Recently he kept messing around with an old post light in the back yard, trying to make it work. He would go to the hardware store, buy this and that, but just couldn't figure it out. When I was visiting recently I realized the circuit was still hot and the wiring was old and shorting out. I disconnected the circuit in the house so he wouldn't get hurt. He still putzed around with it for a couple hours and finally gave up.
I've disabled his chainsaw and I'm slowing stealing some of the more dangerous power tools. I was worried that he would go buy new stuff but so far he doesn't seem to realize the stuff is missing. He tried to start the chain saw but gave up after an hour or so.
This approach is working for me so far but I'm at a loss as to how to find things for him to do that he is capable of and are not dangerous for him.
Is there someone in your husbands life who is also a woodworker? Maybe someone could mentor him into attempting less complex projects. Tell him they need a dozen bird houses and ten cutting boards. You could also try hiding some tools and accessories for the equipment that would allow only simple operations.
I also think you may have to stand up to him when he demands that you figure out these complicated machines. I sure wouldn't want to deal with it. I'm getting old and lazy. Learning new stuff is hard work.