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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I am ready to give up being POA. he just had a follow up at the neurologist and did some little test maybe eight questions and all the doctor said was mildly impaired
We built him a little "cabin-like" house. Only because we had to destroy his trailer and most everything in it. My husband and told him he was sorry but we have to do this and I will build you something no, which we have tried for years to put him up something new but he would not let go of his dumpy trailer. He went on respite care at the assisted living and it is now six months and he has gotten better from the stroke, and I honestly thought he would not come out of this so I didn't worry much about him wanting to come back home to his cabin . My husband at first help to get his butt out and a few things wearing a hazmat outfit, I totally disagreed with him even going in there for fear of bringing Bug's home to our house. I made him strip down completely outside in the middle of January freezing ice and snow and destroyed all his clothes and we ended up getting bedbugs in our living room. I found a nest in the recliner which my husband sits and every night, I totally freaked out and destroyed all of our furniture it was extremely costly for spraying but we caught them in the nick of time. My dad had no problem with us paying for six months of spraying his trailer but he would not allow any other help, he wasn't doing with the bug man ask him to do on his part as far as washing his clothes correctly destroying things etc. Plus he's legally blind so he could not see how bad they were even though he was told!!!! Yes his care is escalating, he's recovering from a foot ulcer and to a diabetic that is not good. I love and appreciate all your suggestions and I will try all of them. My dad can't read medicine bottles or anything really. He won't let them assist with his showers, but then again he's that type a old man that doesn't mind being dirty and stinky and dirty clothes
Has your dad had a neuropsycological evaluation? It's quite involved, but, unless the neurologist has that kind of test done, I'd question his opinion on your dad's competence.
I'd also talk to the staff at the facility to see what kind of help dad needs. Like does he need help with bathing, grooming, laundry, meals, taking medication, etc? He may need help with his daily activities. If he is blind, how to they anticipate him being able to read drug labels and instructions?
I think I'd ask those docs to put in writing that he is capable of living alone with no supervision. Make it clear to them that you intend to resign your POA because it gives you no authority to force your dad to take care of himself. It only gives you the authority to carry out his wishes. And if he wishes to live in a bedbug infested home, you have no ability to control that.
You are going to have to be tough here, Bella, and possibly talk back to people in authority. " No, I couldn't possibly do that", is a useful phrase.
I hear you and its a tough situation. I know as your dad's POA you want to do what is best for him. Its always tough with our elderly parents. If it were me and given what happened in the past, I think it would be safer to have him live in a good assisted living facility instead.
It sounds like his care is escalating. He needs more supervision. Even though the doctors have cleared him, it sounds like your gut is telling you that maybe he shouldn't be able to go back home. I know its not an easy decision. I'm the kind of person that always does what someone else wants. Even with my own dad, I tried to do what he wanted but in the end I feel like I hurt him. I shouldn't have let him have his way. I feel like if he was properly supervised he would still be alive. Instead I let him come home and I wasn't prepared for what that looked like. I thought I could take care of him. In hindsight it was too much.
Maybe get a social worker to talk to him about all his options.
Is there any reason you built him a new place to live? When he was living in the bed bug infested house previously, he showed no ability to look out for his own safety and welfare. So, I"m not sure what kind of doctor thinks that's acceptable. I would suspect that other doctors or professional mental health professionals would be highly suspect that he is okay to make his housing safe.
I can't comment on whether you might get into trouble by allowing him to go home. Just because the doctors don't seem to have a handle on his abilities, I'd hesitate to join them. I'd see an attorney for advice.
His neurologist just to test him on his follow up and said he was mildly cognitive impaired, his general practitioner always give him a pass saying he's basically OK to go
What I meant to say above was that he currently lives in an assisted living and wants to come back to his home and take care of himself with the help of help at home girls. He needs to stay at the assisted living because he's legally blind has had a stroke has diabetic retinopathy neuropathy, he can hardly walk a straight line, I'm worried about him doing his meds right and yes I live close but we have a very strained relationship and this is something I cannot take on myself. Before the stroke his home was infested with bedbugs for six months, we paid for the spraying but it didn't work... the trailer was a piece of crap...holes in the floor, mice infested If it wasn't for the stroke he probably be still living there with the Bug's While in the hospital with a stroke I found a bedbug nest and his hat ..they were in his shoes and on the collar of his shirt. There was even one crawling on the bed sheet which I had to report to the nurse so everything and everybody who came and went was quarantined So yeah he wants to come back to his new little cabin we build him after we destroyed the trailer and I am pretty sure the mess is going to start all over again
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'd also talk to the staff at the facility to see what kind of help dad needs. Like does he need help with bathing, grooming, laundry, meals, taking medication, etc? He may need help with his daily activities. If he is blind, how to they anticipate him being able to read drug labels and instructions?
You are going to have to be tough here, Bella, and possibly talk back to people in authority. " No, I couldn't possibly do that", is a useful phrase.
I hear you and its a tough situation. I know as your dad's POA you want to do what is best for him. Its always tough with our elderly parents. If it were me and given what happened in the past, I think it would be safer to have him live in a good assisted living facility instead.
It sounds like his care is escalating. He needs more supervision. Even though the doctors have cleared him, it sounds like your gut is telling you that maybe he shouldn't be able to go back home. I know its not an easy decision. I'm the kind of person that always does what someone else wants. Even with my own dad, I tried to do what he wanted but in the end I feel like I hurt him. I shouldn't have let him have his way. I feel like if he was properly supervised he would still be alive. Instead I let him come home and I wasn't prepared for what that looked like. I thought I could take care of him. In hindsight it was too much.
Maybe get a social worker to talk to him about all his options.
I can't comment on whether you might get into trouble by allowing him to go home. Just because the doctors don't seem to have a handle on his abilities, I'd hesitate to join them. I'd see an attorney for advice.