My mother's in rehab for physical therapy and not happy. She's mad and not cooperating. She tell me I'm not going to take her home, she's asked me if I'm trying to kill her and several other mean and hurtful things. The staff tells me this is normal and not to worry but it hard. She's has a urinary tract infection from the hospital which they are treating with antibiotics which is messing with her mind. I'm new to this and it hurts to see her in this condition. How can I get her to calm down and trust that i will take her home one day and to take the time to get better?
Normally, I'm all for visiting often and doing lots of reassuring and hand holding (literally and figuratively). But there are times, and this seems like one of them, where we have to step back and let the professionals handle the situation. Once she calms down and does what she can, then you can re-enter. keep in touch with the staff and try not to feel guilty. You are trying to do what is right and that isn't always clear-cut.
Take care of yourself. This is a long road.
Carol
I know when my Mom was having issues with neck pain, her physical therapist was a very nice looking young man.... she was very cooperative and still talks about him a decade later, and she is still doing the exercises he requested she do that home :)
Has she ever seen a geriatric psychiatrist?
I'm very sorry for this terrible experience and the loss of your father, that is so sad!
I know in my mother's case--it would have been impossible (and I think many others will agree with me) to have had someone with their loved ones "watching" them to make sure their care was the best. This is why they are in rehab facilities or AL. Because we CAN'T be there. We really tried to give mother a ton of attention and time, but it was to the point that the therapists said our constant presence was just making her less likely to be cooperative and to adjust to the rehab facility. (If she didn't like the food, she'd call one of us and have us bring her something she liked). She really had a chance to socialize and do a lot during the days,, but all she wanted to do was lie in bed and "receive" visitors. I think there is a fine line between keeping an eye on the situation and practically living in. Most people don't have enough family, friends, etc in their lives to DO a 4-6 hr stint for weeks, months...again, I am very sorry for how things went with your father. That is sad, and no one should have to deal with that. Please don't beat yourself up over not being there.
Don't take it personally, but for your sake, just remind her you love her and wish she didn't have to go through this, but each day will get better and she'll be home befor she knows it...stay positive.
Take a break and keep conversations and visits short. Give her a few days to adjust and let the care team know you are available but you are stepping away a few days while they get mom on board.
Tell mom, you can't wait to get her home when she can walk on her own, feed and toilet herself, whatever and request care team reinforce that message everyday in rehab.
We were lucky that mum initially wanted to come home, so I'd tell her she could not come home til she could walk on her own etc.
(But she ended up loving that rehab home, think she wished she could stay there, they were wonderful and she had all her 'girls' to chat to)
Let the physios so there thing, steer a little clear til she's off the ABs.
See All Answers