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Other than meds, which I am still waiting on blood test results so her dr. can try some meds, does anyone have any suggestions for getting your loved one back to sleep when they wake up at ungodly hours? Mom will fall asleep at 11 - which means I fall asleep at 12 IF I AM LUCKY and then at 2 AM I will hear her up,. I get up and she is already fully dressed, has put her teeth in and is ready to start her day! Almost impossible to talk her back into bed and if I do get her back into bed then I toss and turn for 2 hours trying to fall back to sleep and by the time I fall asleep she is up again. Sigh. I am so tired :(

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She needs to have an area where she can safely be awake while you sleep. This is a lot harder than it sounds in a typical residential setting.

Realize this is a signal type of behavior and it will not go away. Sleep meds can help, but this behavior is telling you that other changes are coming that you need to plan ahead for.

E.g. increased wandering, restlessness, etc.
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I should also say that there is a lot of info on this site about different sleep routines people use. You may have to try different things, but a routine is the important part. The same thing at the same time, every single day.

Quiet surroundings, maybe some soft music in her room, and make sure there are good nightlights anywhere she might walk to.
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After trying all the obvious things: not too much liquid after bedtime, meds. if the Dr. approves them, quiet surroundings, all of which will help a little, you may need to consider hiring a home helper for the nights. They would stay awake and either coax your Mom back to sleep whenever she starts to get out of bed or keep your Mom company and keep her safe if she insists on being awake. This will allow you to sleep at night in order to be fresh to care for her during the day. The home aide that we had came at10:30 pm and stayed til 6:30am,allowing me time to shower and get ready to take over in the morning. She even helped my Mom shower and dress before she left since my Mom insisted on being awake. Its surprising how fast your body will learn to sleep once you know there is someone else keeping an eye on her. Prayers.
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My mom was doing that, and she fell one night, that is why she is in assisted living now. While she was home I ordered a sensor alarm, as soon as she stepped out of bed, the alarm would go off. The 24 hr. care staff at her home apparently didn't like the noise and unplugged it. It wasn't expensive and I think it could help you.
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Hello: I feel your dilemma because we lived it for the first year my mother moved in with my husband and me. One of her medications is a little pill she takes at night to "help her relax" so she can fall asleep but, she still kept getting up to go to the bathroom several times a night. She wears the super absorbent under ware plus a super absorbent night pad. When I told her doctor about this, (oh and by the way, she fell several times during the night the first year she was here) she suggested getting a belt to tie her at night, I was surprised she said that but she told me that this is what they use at nursing homes to keep certain patients from wondering the halls. This is NOT something you can just buy at the pharmacy or on line, my mother's doctor had to order it as a prescription and only through her, I could buy it. So ask your mother's doctor if she can do that for you. You didn't mentioned how old is your mother, (mine is 91 and has dementia) and believe me, the first night I tied her up, she complained but I told her the doctor prescribed this for therapy for her back and she accepted it. I also give her one over the counter sleep aid and it's been working great. I get her untied at around 5am. when I get up to see my husband off to work, to change her under ware and she settles down back to sleep. For the first weeks, she looked like she had been trying to get up but, since she couldn't, she fell back asleep. I'm 63 and the primary caregiver for her and, I'm stressed out as it is, so I NEED MY SLEEP, and so does my husband. Talk to her doctor and explain your dilemma, this could be the solution to your sleepless nights. And don't feel bad about asking her doctor, you wont sound like a monster or an uncaring person, believe me, you are not being cruel or anything like that so I urge you to ask, ask, ask her doctor. I really hope you will.
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Oh, I forgot to tell you that it would be a great idea to buy those pads for your mother's bed, to prevent her from wetting the bed. I put one directly on top of the mattress, then the bed sheet and then, another very absorbent pad under her for the night, I hope your mother uses the adult, super absorbent under ware too. She has been here for almost 3 years but the past 2 years, we at least can have UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP!!!!!
I hope this suggestions help.
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Okay, this takes some pre-planning during the day. Have her active most of the day, and do not give any caffeinated drinks after 4 p.m. Then about 8 p.m. give her a melatonin 3 mg. supplement and see what happens. Melatonin levels decrease as one ages, so you have to supplement it. It is not a "drug" but will put her in a sleepy state where she will not be getting up in the middle of the night (except to go to the bathroom). If she doesn't wander (I mean outside) you take one too so you can sleep. No use you not getting any sleep while you are the caregiver, if she will be safe without you watching her. If she can tolerate milk, it is loaded with tryptophan which will cause sleepiness. Don't think you can use a blood test to test for sleep-wake cycles. Drugs will only make her constipated, and then you really will have problems.
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I got it going on now my husband sometimes doesn't sleep through the night what happened is I go to Walmart i buy their little off brand of sleeping pills and he sleeps during the night he has medication but those nights when I'm so tired because I work a full time joband there are times when I just need to get rest I give him two of those sleeping pills it takes about an hour to work and he wishes but there's one other thing you must understand too sometimes you can give them everything and nothing works is there much as in they're not going to sleep then I go in the street for the last 2 nite I haven't went to sleep until 3:30 a.m. And being tired so you have to try to keep him up doing today because my mom was working with him but she will allow him to sleep half the day so you have to find ways to keep her up during the day so she can sleep at night the Dementia from 8 p.m. To 6 a.m. Hope this helps
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I started sleeping with my mom. She loves it. I cuddle up with her and say prayers every night and then I sing until she falls asleep. She sleeps through each night. If I do not sleep with her then she does get up and do whatever she does however when I am there she awakes, feel assurance that she is safe, and falls back asleep. We all are sleeping well, and straight through, each night. Oh, and I have our two small dogs sleeping with us too. My mom loves that.

We are in year six. So far, so good. I am her only caregiver. I left my employment to stay home with her. My mom and I have always been very close.
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Thanks everyone for your wonderful suggestions. Trying To Make It - my mom is 85, Ferris 1 - She does not drink any caffeine at all - only one cup of decaf coffee with her lunch, the rest of the day Ensure and water and we limit liquids in the evening with her last water being with her meds around dinner time. She has some mobility issues, we live in the mountains so no outside walking, and my house is tiny so her only real physical movement during the day is going down the hall to the bathroom. She only naps for about an hour after lunch and some days she doesn't even take a nap at all.
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try and take her walking in the afternoon....warm milk and a advil pm or over the counter sleep aid...also valerian root helps relax the nerves....but the walking is good or something that takes energy even if it is reading...she needs to be made tired.
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I also got Spring Valley fast-dissolve Melatonin 3mg (sleep support it says on front) for my Mom.(walmart) Her Neurologist had her on 3mg years ago and it didnt work but this one is working for some reason. They can cause bad dreams so I wouldnt give more than 3mg . my moms been luckilly doing well on it. Oh I went through a year of Mom wandering years ago. I cut her door in half (horizontally like Mr Ed's door) and locked it on the outside . I could only put a few things in the drawers and closet to play with or she would take everything out all night long. She would rest her arms on the door yelling Hi? Helloooo? and I would just say "mom its the middle of the night, go back to bed ok" and she said "oh really? okay" and went back for 5-10 mins and got up again. I swear I didnt sleep for a year and had to get to work at 7am. I had a morning caregiver in to bring her to daycare at that time. Soon Mom had a stroke (cerebrel) and started to get agressive. The dr then put her on the depakote. It caused her to sleep a lot for about 3-4 weeks, then it worked like a charm! Eventually I weaned her off it and we are about to start year 8 here, holy moly I some days wonder if she will outlive me. lol. God I love her, I also snuggle with her and sing and rub her head at night. I tell her I will be here alllll night long and she always smiles. I remember when she could speak, she told me that made her feel so good. Who doesnt love to be hugged! As soon as she is asleep I sneak out .I've been getting her to sleep now about 6-6:30pm so I can have husband time too, enough already, we need time too.Breakfast is 9 and dinner 3-5pm, then into bed. Man, can you tell I have no one to talk too, I will shut up now. Give the melatonin a shot, hope it helps!
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My 90 year old mother is now calling me by her sisters' names. She can't remember mine. Last night she lay in bed with a wet gown and briefs and she did not call me. I think it's because she couldn't remember my name. What do I need to do next?
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Don't know if anyone already said this but my mom takes a melatonin every night (3mg). Sometimes two if she can't sleep. It is very safe and should not affect any other medication (ask you doctor just to be sure). It really helps her relax to get to sleep and sleep through the night most nights. Also, many of the meds for dementia interfer with sleep and cause bad dreams. You might want to ask your doctor is you can try giving them in the morning instead of at night or a lesser dose twice a day instead of all at once before bedtime.
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atoenc, thats super sad. I dont know if your mom puts things in her mouth or not, but I used bells on my Moms bed when we went thru that stage. Mom would kick her legs a bit due to being uncomfortable (wet), and I heard the bells. I hung them on her bed rails, had them on her socks, sneakers and hanging from the ceiling as she walked at that time. I buy tranquility booster pads and put in her diaper (amazon) and they are amazing!
ON the melatonin, I do remember moms neuro saying never more than 6mg for the elderly, 3 seems to work fine, knock on wood.
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So I bet your mom sleeps through the day because 3 hours of sleep is not adequate?
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Yep, been there, done that with the names. Then my mother would say I think (her granddaughter's) birthday is December 5 and I would say "Mom, you've known for 38 years that her birthday is December 4." Then she would say "I think this relative (whose name was Janet) is Janice" and she was sure she was correct/would argue with me about it. Finally at the end I just had to agree with her because it was a no win situation!
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My mom has been with us almost a year now. She is 91. When she first moved in I don't remember her having to get up through the night as much as she seems to now. She had a fall back in October that a couple weeks later put her in the hospital due to a blood clot. So that's when I decided to put a bell on her Walker so I can hear when she does get up. Plus I cut her coffee intake from a cup to 1/2 a cup after her dinner. Most of the time she takes a few sips and says she is finished. She has to go to bed by 8:00 now. Used to be later. She always sleeps until at least 9:00 sometimes later. Since I have cut back on her coffee she doesn't get up as much which I am thankful. Sad part is she doesn't remember getting up through the night most of the time. So far she hasn't wet the bed.
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I'm probably jinxing myself writing this but my MIL has been getting to sleep and staying asleep on Trazadone and Melatonin. She gets 9mg Melatonin per her doctor's orders. No side effects. She never talks about dreaming or nightmares. She's so used to taking pain meds and such it would take a lot to cause negative side effects on her. We used to go in and wake her up to sit on the bedside commode if she didn't call us but she will no longer do that so she just uses her briefs. She started doing that in rehab and it carried over to when we got her back home. I think the fact that she doesn't have to get up for that any more is helping her stay asleep or go back to sleep if she wakes up. Hard to tell why anything works but that's my guess.

I just want to say that nothing ever stays the same very long. Once you get used to a routine it's time to change it and you have to start all over figuring out a new solution. My MIL has only been here since April and I swear it's like we've had ten different people here. I would just like to hang on to being able to sleep through the night :-)
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Hi again, Trying to cope, I usually don't post in response to other posts but I did feel compelled to remind us all to check with our doctors before adding any hormones, supplements or over the counter meds. to our family members regimine. There have been some real concerns raised with the use of Melatonin for the purpose of sleeping , so I would just check first. Hang in there.
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My mom's doctor said to only take melatonin for 2 weeks then take 2-3 days off, FWIW, so she does that, and also we are going to try pumpkin seed oil capsules which I read are helpful. Another thing is to turn down lights an hour before bed and that includes TV. Myself I also block light during sleep with ine of the masks which covers my eyes and smells like lavender.
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Hi,

I give my Mom an over-the-counter sleep Aid, "MidNite", it is all natural and helps her to sleep. Somewhat like Razelberry, I sleep in the recliner chair next to Mom who is on the couch, she is also comforted if she wakes to know that I am near. I am finding tho, that the stress of being the main caregiver, and also having given up my employment, is causing me the sleepless nights. What a blessing to not have to worry about money.
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Samara what is FWIW ? and why give the melatonin a break. I have it all week except one night and she didnt sleep that night. Then it was so late I didnt dare give it as she wouldnt want to get up. I am with you on the lights, I keep her bedroom Bright all day and then during feeding her time, then I lower them, give the melatonin and some prune juice, change her and hoyer her into bed. Its been working great, knock on wood!!
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Reverseroles, "FWIW" stands for "for what it's worth". Mom's doc mentioned some study that showed melatonin got acclimated by the body or something like that, so take a break from it every 2 wks. I prefer (for myself) valerian-hops-passionflower herbal capsules, and will also take Benadryl 2-25mg tablets and magnesium (all of that on really tense days) BUT I am most definitely NOT a doctor so please don't go taking stuff without doing your own research, especially if you have health issues an/or taking medications.
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Samara, thanks for the FWIW, you learn something every day haha. I dont take Melatonin, its for my Mom. I am not sure if I worded that right, I write late at night and sometimes I am half asleep, lol. Thank you. Didnt give mom melatonin tonight and shes in there laughing at nothing but happy as a lark. Thanks again.
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What Booschmoop said: "nothing stays the same"....dementia symptoms increase/ worsen and can ultimately cause the death of the person afflicted. Assisting your loved one to stay asleep is certainly a positive in this process but it's mostly a huge help for the caregiver to get much needed rest.
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Lots of good ideas here. Our Mom is 91 and sleeps pretty well, but did have a spell of trying to climb out of her [hospital] bed. To slow her down, I fastened the corners of blankets at the top of the bed, loose enough so she could roll over and move comfortably, but enough to make her "give up" after trying to sit up. There were a few times when she was agitated and the hospice nurses had brought us alprazolam (small dose, given with a dropper) and it made her more likely to sleep. She never was a drinker, but I know of someone who gives their mother chamomile tea with a shot of sherry in it at bedtime.
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My wife as LBD dementia and is on prescription for Sorequel and Mirzatapine which she takes before bed. So far, it works great. She sleeps all nitge. Joe
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My wife with FTD wakes up every few hours. Trazodone works well and it's not addictive. Or the Walgreen's Z liquid. Just don't get upset about the situation and you yourself with have a better time getting back to sleep.
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Yes, went through this with my Mom before she died.- quite stressful too!
I too, have difficulty sleeping. I abhor sleeping pills .
My solution was a "sleep watch" made by Philip Stein. It is not a watch per se but rather looks like a watch. It has technology that encourages deep, refreshing sleep. The company's web site has a far better explanation.. than I can possibly try to give. Yes,it I pricey - around $450 but has a 60 day money back guarantee. With this, I am assured of a good night's sleep without the side effects of medicine 0r some herbal remedies.
Best of luck and enjoy your sleep!
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