Mom has always been very appreciative of my 24/7 care, I am also an RN and work full time weekends. Mom wants to leave me the house. I have 3 living siblings who are concerned it would not be finacially fair to them, FAIR..define that to a caregiver. She has some $ now but it may not last leaving them 0. Mom is perfectly OK with that, my sis is absolutely Not. She said its Not a $ issue, just Not fair issue. Words cannot convey the day in the life of a cregiver. It is not the same as a visit 1x yearly for 1-2 weeks. She cannot get that and feels I am a monster for agreeing to let Mom do this, as if i had any say so. She feels I have made mother make this decision which is so not true. I am grateful mom knows and she feels good about her decision to give me more. Thank you mom for understanding, wish sis did.
Fair? If your sister wants fairness, she needs to share the caregiving duties or pay someone to do half of what you do. You and your mom obviously have a good relationship. You need to understand this will likely damage your relationship with your sister, maybe for life. But if this is what your mom wants, and if she is mentally able to give consent, then do it legally, and do it soon. You can deal with your sibling issues later. It would be helpful if your mom can see to it your sister is left something of value. Good luck. There's nothing like money issues to divide a family.
Carol
They did visit once or twice a year for a couple hours.
I have POA and gave them what Mom ask me to give them-nothing !
As far as I'm concerned, thats what they gave her when she needed.
I am sure you cared for her from your heart and she has recognised this, therefore, your siblings should also acknowledge the fact that it is your Mom's decision and that caring is a long standing issue, not a one-off thing, or "I will come visit, when I can find the time" thing.
Anyway Mother knows best and if she things you deserve it, than you do - end of discussion.
When the two evil ones were still talking to me, they'd yell at me for spending too much of Mom's (ooppss, THEIR) money on her care. You know in movies where someone says to an evildoer who is getting away with it, "May the Lord have mercy on your soul." Gee is that corny or what? I don't know how many times I say that in my head at the behavior of those two....and their wlling "toadies." One sister gets her daughter and her grandson to do her dirty work for her. May the Lord have...oh heck with it. Lord, don't even bother.
I 'm the sole caregiver day to day and also my sister and brother also do their visit once a month for a couple hours and then they leave and I'm here with her alone to continue while they go back to their lives, and in the end my mom doesn't have much but a little bit of life insurance will probably only cover funeral costs maybe alittle leftover and I've wondered whats gonna happen if they'll demand their share. Mythinkiing is you deserve the bigger half and if you have the courage to stand up to them and say so go for it because from experience you do deserve more.
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