We just took in my 88 year old father who has dementia. The last week has been a real eye opener on how I am dealing with this. I can't do it! I'm an only child and my husband is helping me. Things are strained and stressed. I even had chest pains the other day. He is high maintenance and I feel as though I've lost my life in the process of helping him. I am considering a nursing home. Any advice would be most appreciated.
I wish you well, let us know how it goes!!! We are here for you!!
If you started out thinking Dad had "age-related decline" (as your profile says) and now you realize he has dementia, I can understand what a shock that is. Even if you knew he had dementia, but didn't really understand what his symptoms were or what it means to care for someone with dementia, that was a rude awakening.
You didn't know what you were getting into. Now you know. Take action accordingly.
Depending on what kind of dementia he has and what his symptoms are, he may need a Dementia Care facility. (For example, if he is at risk for wandering, a secure unit is important.) A NH with staff familiar with dealing with dementia might be suitable.
Placing him won't occur overnight. Begin the search for a suitable place now, and also start working on the finances. If a miracle occurs and things improve and you want to keep him with you, you can always cancel the placement plans. My advice is to start planning for his placement immediately.