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This a very confusing post...have you and your husband been fil's caregiver for the past three years? If that is so, and if after sil goes home, you and hubby are the ones on call, and if as poa, husband is the one whose decision it actually is , then a discussion should have taken place away from fil's room. He's the patient who needs to recuperate not be stressed by family drama.
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I do think you owe both your FIL and SIL an apology. He is NOT your father. And really, the rehab facility does not matter all that much in the long run as long as it is clean and has a good staff. What is important is the therapy your FIL will receive and there are great therapists out there everywhere. I don't understand why you would even care about this as it makes little to no difference to you as you won't be living there.
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It sounds like someone wants control. Go with the place "other medical" people are recommending. They know first hand of their good reputation. Didn't your FIL even say he wanted the one the staff recommended as well?
Its a temporary rehab is that correct?
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Apologize. Let you fil pick where he wants to live. Don't be the person who brings drama and strife into family matters. Be an instrument of peace. And did I say, apologize!
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This is her dad I am assuming. Back off and let your husband, his son, deal with it. I would never have been so intrusive. I think an apology would go a long way and mend fences. I just have this rule of thumb that I take care of my family and my husband his. That way not so many "cooks in the kitchen" so to speak.

I don't mean to be critical of you and your love for the fil but you are not his child and unless he specifically asks for your help, just stay out of it.
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Very confusing story, picked them? As what, POA, or a place to live. Let your FIL choose whatever he wants, its his life. Sit back and let her deal,seriously. You can visit and be there without the hassle. Unless there is a motive, she sounds like a wonderful person always being there for him.Let it go , your FIL doesnt need this stress any more than you do. Being in charge or the caregiver is no picnic believe me, you'll be better off in the looooong run!
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