I took care of my gma for 6yrs while she lived in her home. I'm a granddaughter, married with 2 kids. In my gmas 80s she was diagnosed with dementia and she really started to get very forgetful. 3 times a week I would go clean and help with everything she needed at her home. I knew things were worsening and decided to move her to my home because no one would help and the drive was hard for me. She then lived with me for 6yrs with no help from anyone. She had a small check she received which covered her toiletries, meds and doctors visits. I got very sick and was hospitalized myself. On my first day away, my aunt came to my home and picked up my gma and placed her in a nursing home without telling me or my husband who was home. I really didn't know what to do because she said she was just here to help, but just took her to a nursing home. My aunt didn't like me at all for reasons unknown. 13 days later I was released and still recovering. I tried to see who would help care for gma so we could get her out. By this time she spent her 90th bday in the nursinghome. Time went on trying to find someone to help untill I got better, but couldn't. She had been in the nursing home for a total of 5 months. The family was fighting on who would help. I managed to talk my mother into to helping, I had no contact with for yrs, but she was the only one who would take gma. I didn't want her in that nursing home, it was so sad. 3 months after my mom got my gma out of nursing home my gma passed away! So, 8 months after they took her from my home my gma died. Then my aunts and uncles took her house and they want to sell it for money for themselves even though my gma promised it verbally to me many years ago. They said I have no say even though I've been the only one by herside for more than 15 yrs. I took care of her and loved her and now they are selling her home which had been in the family for 70 yrs. Do I have any rights as a granddaughter? How after all these years do I not have any rights for her. I feel they played a role in my gmas death as they didn't know her meds and the nursing home took months to get them correct after I had to check constantly. I feel it's what played a role in my gmas death.
let this go so you can move on. It sounds like your family is greedy and did not appreciate what you did for Grandma.
embrace your memories and be proud of how you stepped up and made her last years happy and joyful. Don't let your joy be taken away by others.
Someone mentioned above about making sure anything promised is legally documented, if it isn't it is just empty promises.
i am sorry for your loss
If there is a Will an Executor has the responsibility to carry out Grandma's wishes after any outstanding debts or liens are satisfied.
If no Will, then someone needs to become administrator and they carry out the same responsibilities as a Executor but...the State determines who inherits. Spouse gets the biggest portion with children splitting the remainder. In Grandmoms situation her children inherit. Every state is different when it comes to succession. But, if no spouse, children get inheritance.
If Grandmom was on Medicaid, in the 3 months my Mom was on Medicaid, she owed 6k, so any lien placed on grandmom's home, probably is only about 10k. Medicaid does not pay what someone privately would pay.
So sorry you lost ur grandmother. Be glad you were granted the time you had with her. Move on from here.
I would also avoid thinking that they had any impact on her death. There is no proof and will not help you deal with your grief.
I hope anyone reading your story who is in the same situation, caring for someone without any legal documents to agree distribution of assets, learns that verbal agreements have no validity.
You don't mention a Will or probate, either, which is what happens to deceased's property after they pass. If she had a Will the Executor would dispense of the assets per her Will. If there was no Will, her estate would go into probate, which is where inheritances can be sorted out through the court, and (I think but am not sure) closest relatives get first dibs. This would have been her surviving spouse, then children. A person verbally gifting something as big as a house to someone holds no legal water, ever, because unless it is videoed, there is no proof.
If your Grandma was in the nursing home on Medicaid, then a lien is put on the home (by Medicaid) which needs to be satisfied when sold.
I'm sorry for your loss and also for the ingratitude you've experienced -- but you also don't seem to have a grasp of how things work through the law. Please be very careful about "feeling they played a role" in her death. At 90, there is a multitude of reasons one can die. You can believe what you want (and you weren't present to see what transpired) but it doesn't make it true -- so why go there?
I hope a takeaway for you in all of this is for you to have all your own legal ducks in a row now, including a Will; pick a local, reliable DPoA. Never make anyone promise to "never" put you in a facility (because not everyone is willing/able to do 24/7 caregiving); do your best to save enough for your care; make sure you understand how and when Medicaid works. May you receive peace in your heart and harmony in your family.