My Grandfather is 89. He fell on July 10th and refused to go to the hospital. He has gone downhill steadily since then. Refuses medications. Has taken to bed and only gets up with assistance to use the restroom. He eats a bite or two of food once every 3 or 4 days. He'll only drink tea or water. Maybe 6 to 8 oz a day. He became incontinent of bowels but has not needed to go in two weeks. He sleeps about 20 to 22 hours per days. He can talk but expresses a desire to die. Says he is in no pain. Wants to stay home with my husband and myself although he's become demanding of me and degrading. It's hard to know what to expect.
Of course this means that you will be doing a sort of Hospice all on your own. I'm currently doing Hospice care for my 87 year old FIL in my home, and thank God for their support!
If he is eating and drinking very little, I don't imagine it will be too long, but then again the body's will to live can be very strong, depending on the person! I expect that he will soon fall into a coma like state, as his systems shut down. Then he will let go. I'm so sorry.
I wish you much success in helping your FIL to pass on, as it truly sounds like that is his desire. I know how hard this is! Bless you and your husband during this very trying time!
Still, I would keep on trying for Any support that you can get, try Medicare, your local Area on Aging, Senior Support! Keep at his Family Dr too! You might need Some help in this journey, Good luck and God speed! Don't forget to take care of you!
If you are finding the personal care difficult think about hiring help to come in and do the bathing etc. If Hospice comes in they will provide an aide several times a week. They will also provide support and encouragement for you.