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Sorry, i meant to say "she,...your mom"
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Do you have children,..for them, take a journal and ask questions that you want to keep for your family...ask him about his past...they love to talk about it...ask him how he met your mom, how did he propose to her...ask about the day your were born, ask him about his parents...each visit think of something he could share with you, because when he is gone, you can't ask it anymore.... They also like to give advice and feel important...that is what i did...and now i can't ask anything more...
Give a purpose to your visits...you may not like them now, but ....I agree , you are feeling normal, but the time will pass and your will look back and be happy you went...
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If people were honest I think the majority of them would admit to feeling the same way. I don't think there are many people who enjoy visiting their parent in a nursing home.

My dad was in a nursing home for 6 months before he died. And while I wanted to see my dad and I wanted him to know that I hadn't forgotten about him it was a chore when I went to see him. Am I proud that I felt that way? No. But I went several times a week. And each time after our visit as I was walking out to my car I too was relieved that it was over. My dad wasn't difficult, he was a very sweet and loving man yet I still felt that way. And I felt guilty for feeling that way.

I can't absolve you of your guilt but I think what you're feeling is normal.
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