When Mom is in a funk, should I work to get her out of it or just leave her to stew? She is in the middle of Alzheimer's and gets depressed and pessimistic. She cries about having no life and nothing to do. However when I suggest something she is adamant about not wanted to do it. I will suggest we go for a ride in the car or over to my house for lunch and she will absolutely refuse to go. I am never sure if I should get angry at her and try to shame her into going or if I should just leave her apt and let her be? Sometime I just sit with her and keep reminding her she is loved and has people who love her. She will just keep saying the same thing over and over. " I never had to depend on anyone before, I could drive and go places. Now I can't go anywhere and I have no money". I remind her she has money and I can take her someplace but she won't go. Should I try to force her to do things she really doesn't want to do?
It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help her but her depression and dementia are bigger than you. You can try to get her on medication like the above comment suggested (if she's not already on an antidepressant). If she's already taking one it obviously isn't working and she may need an adjustment or another med altogether. But a pill won't help her circumstances. She'll still be elderly, she'll still be unable to drive but a medication may jump start the chemicals in her brain and give her a little lift she needs to start feeling better.
I wouldn't shame her. I don't think she's doing anything on purpose. Depression is an illness. As much as she may like to get out and do things she can't because of the depression. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that affects many elderly people.
All you can do is love her and support her. Continue to encourage her to do things but be patient with her if she doesn't want to comply. It's not stubbornness, it's the depression and she has very little control over it.