My mother, who has dementia, has in home aides a couple of hours a day. They are supposed to help her bathe, take medication, do light housekeeping, and drive her to her many social activities. (She has a LTC policy that pays for this.) Unfortunately, the home care aides do what she tells them to do , and not what I have told them to do, which means my mother seldom gets a bath, and that she forgets to take her pills without a reminder. I want her to move to assisted living, and I put deposits on two different facilities. Her doctor says she MUST move to assisted living or get 24 hour a day in home care (based on recent cognitive testing). She laughs in his face! I am thinking of starting the legal process to get a guardianship, but I have no support from my sister who says our mother is happy (living in squalor -- did I say she refuses to have her house cleaned?). Her friends are calling us with concerns. She is showing up to bridge in soiled clothes with holes and serving moldy food to guests. She put back in the refrigerator old food an aide had thrown in the garbage. My mother says if we go the legal route she will never speak to us. Advice please!
What got me to this site was to find out how we were supposed to move her. In her case, she had dementia, beyond early stages but still somewhat functional. Refusal to go meant we started to explore the guardianship, but the assisted living memory care place we selected WOULD NOT DO committals!! Not only that, but insisted that SHE had to agree to move in... GReat! She refuses and cannot be ordered in....
So, be sure to check with any place that you have selected for her to be sure they will accept a 'committal'. Someone suggested that perhaps they consider a committal as a difficult person... We got around this in a different way.
I would not accept guardianship from a judge that would not "get" that mom needs to be in a facility, since she is consistently refusing in-home care.
Check with YOUR lawyer, but if that is what is proposed, I suggest that your lawyer counter that you will allow your mother to become a ward of the state if that is her/his decision. Let someone professional get paid to force care on your mother at home.
Make sure that HER lawyer informs her that you are "walking" because she's uncooperative.