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Middledaughter, so glad you are making progress. I know its hard and you might feel like a "bad guy" to your mom. As her dementia progresses, she will probably forget a lot of this and not harbor ill feelings. My mother was angry for several years about us selling her car and moving her when she was in the "in-between" stage of dementia. The last few years of her life, she still complained but she didn't connect it with anything we did.
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I am the original poster, Middledaughter, with an update: Although I have a durable POA, it's not enough apparently to force someone to move out of their home if they resist. I hired an attorney and I am seeking conservatorship (over financial) and guardianship (over her person.) The court appointed a guardian ad litem to recommend what is best for her, and because she is contesting the guardianship, the court has appointed independent counsel for her. So with three lawyers involved, it ain't gonna be cheap! Fortunately, in her state, it comes out of her assets (which are considerable) and not mine. Now that the hearing date has been set, I feel relieved. My one concern now is that given her strong objection, the judge may give me guardianship but order me to let her stay in her own home (with 24 hour care.) Given my experience with home aides, who do what she says and not what needs to be done, I don't see this as a great option.
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Beware - we were in a similar situation. Mom refused to move, considered herself independent, yadda yadda, and after a few months of daily one-hour visits (not really tasked yet to do anything) from nursing aides, refused to let them in.
What got me to this site was to find out how we were supposed to move her. In her case, she had dementia, beyond early stages but still somewhat functional. Refusal to go meant we started to explore the guardianship, but the assisted living memory care place we selected WOULD NOT DO committals!! Not only that, but insisted that SHE had to agree to move in... GReat! She refuses and cannot be ordered in....
So, be sure to check with any place that you have selected for her to be sure they will accept a 'committal'. Someone suggested that perhaps they consider a committal as a difficult person... We got around this in a different way.
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What a dreadful position you are being put in.

I would not accept guardianship from a judge that would not "get" that mom needs to be in a facility, since she is consistently refusing in-home care.

Check with YOUR lawyer, but if that is what is proposed, I suggest that your lawyer counter that you will allow your mother to become a ward of the state if that is her/his decision. Let someone professional get paid to force care on your mother at home.

Make sure that HER lawyer informs her that you are "walking" because she's uncooperative.
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Update: I got the guardianship in June, and immediately put my mother into a lovely two-bedroom/2 bath assisted living apartment. She is not ready for memory care as she is not a wanderer. Although she still complains about being forced to move, she has adjusted well. The facility is expensive ($7,000+ a month), and the legal costs were approximately $18,000 but I am so relieved she is in a safe place. In the process now of selling her condo. Thanks for the advice here and support!
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That's really great that you were able to get guardianship over your mother and get her into a safe place with the help she needs. Let your mom moan and groan all she wants, sometimes what a person needs is not going to be what they want. You are doing what is best for her. She is clean, safe, fed and has medical professinals to take care of her. Happiness is a choice. Only she can make that choice.
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I'm so glad that there was a good outcome in court!
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