My mother is 84 years old and very strong willed. She lost her dog about 6 months ago and wants to get another one. She lives in a condo my husband and I own and we cannot really afford to have her live there anymore so we may have to find affordable housing for her. She constantly goes to the doctor/emergency/hospital, etc. She has rheumatoid arthritis and is sometimes in a lot of pain. When she had a dog she had a hard time caring for the dog's needs, not to mention the expense. I don't need another responsibility added to what I already deal with but she's wearing me down. If we need to move her in the future the dog may present a problem if they don't accept pets. She has a bird already but I don't see a problem with that. I know she gets lonely but I don't think a dog is the solution. How do I approach this situation? I've made my case to her over and over again and I let her know that I cannot take care of her dog when she's sick or in the hospital but it doesn't seem to matter to her. I'm afraid she will go out and purchase a dog on her own without my knowledge. She just got out of debt with our help so now she's talking about a dog again and how lonely she is. Like I said, she's very, very strong willed.
What if you had someone who has a dog come by and visit once per week so she could pet and love on that dog? I've read about individuals who bring their dogs to the nursing homes to visit with the residents. Even if you have to pay for the service, it might be worth it.
I've also read about companies that rent pets for the day or weekend. It's not the best idea, but it might keep her happy until you can make arrangements for her living situation.
I've read that some Assisted Living facilities have in house cats who live there, so all the residents can enjoy their company. Would she agree to that? It might entice her to go if the place already has pets.
I would treat her insistence of getting a pet as poor judgment and not allow it. No matter how strong willed she is. No agency would allow her to adopt and most breeders would hesitate too, due to her situation, age and health.
I realize this kind of thing can be difficult. My cousin loved her cat more than anything. It took awhile before I realized it was dementia progressing in her. She became obsessed with the cat. She lived and breathed for the cat. She could not stand for the cat to wander from her sight for even a second. It was painful to watch. She had no real concept of what it really entailed to care for a cat. After she went into assisted living, I had to return the cat to the no kill rescue that she adopted it from years ago. The cat was much happier, since her dementia was making the cat stress out.
I will also suggest an idea I had for my cousin. It didn't work for her, but it might work with your mom. It's called Perfect Pets. They are life-like pets that sleep and actually move as if they are breathing. Some even snore a little. They come with a little bed and are very life like. My cousin was too attached to her real cat to have much interest in the pet I bought for her, but I would imagine they would be a big hit with others.
perfectpetzzz
I will warn you that they do make a little noise and at night it might bother you if you're in the same room.
And, by the way, birds hate change. A bird that is forced into a new home won't necessarily adapt. They tend to be much less adaptable than dogs and cats, so you already might have this as a problem, to begin with.
I have had three Therapy dogs living with me in my past and they were always gentle, well trained and eager to be petted and loved by the folks ( of any age) where we went to visit. Now that I am 79 I still have two dogs, but am able to take physical care of them with no problem. I think that when I am too old to care for a dog/or cat I will just "fold up my tent and steal away." I understand and sympathize with your Mom's wish to have her own dog, but a visiting dog could solve that problem.
We get the picture of a lovely, colourful strong-willed lady, so far so good. What I'm not clear about is whether or not she has capacity. Who is actually in charge of her life, her or you?
If, whether legally or just in practice, it's you, then no dog. But if, both legally and in practice, she makes her own decisions, then you'd better just hope she never gets round to visiting the puppy farm - because I think you'd be on dodgy ground removing a pet that she had legitimately acquired.
Either way, though, you don't have to give her your permission to get a dog. You don't agree it's a good idea, so don't agree to it.
I'm guessing she's not a cat person? Pity...