One day she can't remember what happened 5 mins before but the next day it's like if she wants to she can remember all day long what is goin on & it is making me question if she really has Alzheimer's or if she's just doin it for attention bc she has been known to do things to get attention or mainly to get babyed basically. Her neurologist has given her the test to check for Alzheimer's & he said she has it but is it possible to fake it? I'm just not sure anymore & it hurts to think that she says hateful things if she doesn't have it. Maybe someone can help with this. I am her caregiver & granddaughter & POA.
Patience, and give yourself a pat on the back, because it’s not easy.
Eating reminder, bathroom reminding. Everything else technically don't need to remember unless she needs to feed a cat.......
If you are her caregiver, the best thing you can do for yourself now is educate yourself about the disease. Teepa Snow has many great videos you can watch on YouTube about Alzheimer's/dementia, and the book The 36 Hour Day is very helpful as well.
I wish you the very best.
One thing that I would encourage you to do. Tell her when she is being nasty and hateful that it is not okay and if she doesn't stop you will be leaving. Then if she doesn't stop, walk away, give her a time out. Increase the time until you find the sweet spot. When you come back, do not bring up the issue that caused you to leave. If she gets ugly again, you walk away again.
I have seen Alzheimer /dementia patients come to an understanding that they don't get what they want from me unless they aren't mean and ugly. It is like dealing with a bratty child. You tell her it's not okay and you are leaving to let her calm down and when you come back, you expect her to be nice. Do this every single time and even if it doesn't stop her, it keeps you from being her scratching post.
Welcome to the forum!
My mom, not formally dxed with any kind of dementia, most definitely has issues with memory and keeping things in the timeline they belong in.
Last time I saw her, she was watching 'Bonanza' and commented that Michael Landon was a great friend of her brother's. Which, actually, is/was true. She said "Oh, he was just over to the house to swim last week". Um.....I said "Mom, Uncle D died 3 years ago. Michael Landon died about 30 years ago." This was met with fierce arguments from her, so I pulled up my Google on my phone and showed her. Still didn't believe me.
It made me VERY aware that she is slipping, and doing so faster than ever. We try not to let it bug us, and none of us really believes anything she says anymore-it's pointless and frustrating to all involved.
One of the telling SYMPTOMS of Alz. is just what you described: the brain is no longer smoothly going ffrom point A to B and on. All the messages are scrambled. And depending on the day, the time of day, the many, many things that go into make us who we are--a person can be completely different on Tues say, than they were on Sunday.
It's possible to fake it, but it would take a lot of work. I'd go with the Dr's dx and treat her as such.
Ignore the hateful things. They just come with the territory!