Has anyone else experienced a very active imagination in a loved one with dementia?

This is fairly common with dementia. My mom did the same thing, early on - sometimes she would dream something but think it really happened, or "confabulate" (make up a story) about a situation, based only slightly on facts, and insist it was real. Because it felt 100% real to her. Now she makes things up all the time - as she forgets more, and life becomes more confusing and scary, she fills in those gaps with stories that make sense to her.

Yes, it's very common for elders with dementia to make up stories (confabulate) and to believe things happened that really didn't. When my mother's dementia was advanced, she'd tell me all about how the care givers took her out for dinner to a fancy restaurant every night, which wasn't true, and all sorts of other delusions that she'd come up with in her mind. It's the nature of the beast.

You should not be trying to 'correct' your mother when she tells you HER version of reality, you should just enter her world instead.

If you are saying that your 102 y/o mother with dementia lives alone in Independent Living, then that's a mistake b/c it's dangerous for a person THAT old with dementia to be living alone. Things can get VERY bad VERY quickly with dementia & your mom could wander away at 2 am and get lost or hurt. I've seen that happen firsthand with a client I cared for who left his home at 2 am and fell in the street. Died the next day in the hospital of a subdural hematoma.

I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580


Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:

The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience

The "Do's"
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment

Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently

Care Needs
· Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive
· Reassure with your tone and manner
· Do one thing at a time
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance
· Be sincere
· Use a soft, soothing touch
· Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers
· Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them
· They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression”
· If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away
You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the because the person with the disease cannot.

Just b/c mom hasn't been formally 'diagnosed' doesn't mean she's not suffering from dementia!

Wishing you the best of luck with all you have to deal with.

Why are you trying to reason with somebody with dementia? The live in a different world.

My Dad is doing this. His version tends to be using a tiny bit of information he either remembers or overheard and then turning it into a whole huge thing. I think it's his way of filling in the gaps, the way a previous poster said. It gets really annoying when he takes a minor remark I made and then calls my sibling to tell a whole story! (My sibling is in denial about the dementia, which only makes it worse). Things like I mentioned some friends of ours were looking for a new house in another area and I got to see some of the photos of the houses they were looking at and they are very nice, and very affordable — and Dad took that to mean my family is planning to move away and called my sibling in a panic later that day!

You are right. STOP trying to correct her! These imaginings and her behavior will get worse, much worse. It sounds like she is developing dementia. When did she last see a doctor? Not a family practitioner, but a geriatric doc?

It sounds like she is doing very well for 102. Be very grateful and try to let her age gracefully without the criticism and correcting her. It won't work.

Think about a visit to the dentist. Your head is leaning against the head supports for quite awhile. Those things press against the scalp for a long time, effectively crimping the hair that leaves it feeling like something has just been done to it.

Learn as much as you can about dementia. The book "36-Hour Day" is a great place to start as is this website.

It's called confabulation. It happens in various types of dementia or brain damage. It shouldn't surprise you. It's quite common.

My BIL talks on his cellphone all the time without anyone being on the other end. He can have conversations running hours. One time he talked on his cellphone for at least 3 hours but no one was there but in his mind he was talking to someone. He would say I talked to our nephews but he hadn't seen them in years. He talks to the people who he knew in high school. The neurologist says its alright for him to do this as long as it doesn't get violent if it gets violent to let her know.

I keep track of it so I can tell his neurologist. In a month's time he usually talks about 15 days out of 30 days on his cellphone with no one there. Sometimes its shorter sometimes it longer days. He has cameras in his apartment that is how we know this is happening.

You just let it happen you agree with them so that you don't upset them. Prayers to you

yes my mother does this all the time. i just go with it, like the time she told me she owned several properties (she owns just the one house). i said oh really, tell me about them! and she came up with some story about how my now-deceased dad went through a period of acquiring houses many years ago. it is likely related to the fact that she doesn't recognize her home any more, and has memories of homes that she grew up in, so she is reconciling that jumble of memories in her head as being a series of homes she owns. i just let her prattle on, as long as she is content. but sometimes the delusions are negative, as you noted, and we do correct her on those. for awhile she was saying her husband left her for another woman, when he actually died while still married to her several years ago. we couldn't let her suffer thinking she'd been cheated on and abandoned so we told her no he passed away, and it did give her some relief.

Kudos to your Mom for being an active 102 year old who can use the computer! And to you, for being a great caregiver. It's a common symptom of dementia to imagine things. Dementia can be age-related and can be mild. I hope it stays that way for your mother and doesn't get worse. My mother had advanced dementia. It went through stages. Some of the stages were as you describe, with imaginary things happening. It wasn't worth trying to reason with her or persuade her that what she was saying was not correct. Redirection often works better. Just get the conversation onto a different track. Sometimes I actually found some of the things my mother did and said rather funny (like the haircut your mother "experienced"). It's common for people with dementia to think that somebody came in and took something or moved something. Usually it's because the person saying it doesn't find something they are looking for. I used to find my mother's glasses in very odd places, sometimes buried under other things in a box, etc. At one point my mother thought that she had to leave her apartment. This caused anxiety for her. When I visited she had packed up things in suitcases. I tried to reassure her that she didn't have to move, but eventually she did have to move to the Memory Care unit. The move also caused anxiety. If your mother is beginning to experience symptoms of dementia, be aware that it could get worse, and have a plan B for a time when she may not be able to care for herself. She may need help taking her medications on schedule, getting dressed, bathing, having someone cook for her if she doesn't get all of her meals prepared for her at her residence. Speak to the social worker at her residence, if there is one. If her residence allows aides to come in, and if she can afford it, you may be able to get assistance for her that way. At some point, people with dementia can be in their own world and may need a lot of assistance. Also keep an eye on how she is handling sharp objects, the stove and microwave. My mother, when she was in independent living, started to put incorrect things in the microwave and set off fire alarms. In memory care they take away all sharp objects and don't have any appliances that can be dangerous when misused.

102! How wonderful that she is in such great shape! Just play along and don’t try to dissuade her or correct her. I just nod and play along with my mother.

Think of her comments as HER CURRENT MENTAL REALITY.

To her, the statements she is making may be absolutely FACT.

Very common in dementia (even if not diagnosed). My mom has been doing it for 10 years. In the very beginning I tried to correct her because I thought it would help for her to know what really happened. I did some research and concluded that there is nothing to gain from correcting their perception. I always go along with whatever she says. If she said she got a haircut, I would say "your hair looks great, that was a fun day". There is nothing to gain by talking her out of it. If it is negative or she is scared of some imaginary event, just reassure her that she is safe.

Yes what happens somehow gets warped. As an example,.. I took the cats to the VET for their routine check and vax and Mum came with me. Around the same time period, Mum herself had a hospital visit. Now those 2 memories are warped. Now she talks of it that our senior cat had to attend hospital and stay for a bit! (Wrong senior lol). I correct her and say “No,... you attended hospital and the cats just had a routine visit a few days before. She acknowledges it when I remind her but later her memoery warps it again. Also every time I wash her hair she is convinced that it’s also been cut. Possibly because when she used to have someone else do her hair, that consisted of a colour and cut. So her memory reverts to those events. Otherwise Mum can have her good and bad days and I’m able to have conversations with her.
Thats awesome that your mum is 102 and uses a computer! That is fair effort! My mum gave all the computer stuff for me to do in her early 70’s pre-Dementia. In fact it was probably even before that if we exclude Skype and her pre saved web pages to read news.

It is what it is and just go along with the story. For example the story about the neighbor moving her furniture tell her you will speak to them knowing full well the furniture has not been touched.

Memories are fabricated and often other people's stories become hers.

Definitely is a sign of dementia. The priority is to keep them happy and calm.
At 102 I am not surprised about the mental decline.

My sister and I often have a laugh over some of the stories. Its the best you can do. Nothing is worth correcting or arguing with them. It only gets them agitated.

Best way to handle those situations is to just say ok and get on with life

No, you cannot talk her out of her own perceptions of what happened or what she did. Don't even try. There is nothing at all ro be gained by arguing about it. Respond to her statement such as, "I'm glad you like your haircut." For negative imaginings like " someone is hiding in the closet, " don't just say, "No," offer to "check on that" and then report back that no one was there or that you had them leave. Accept each statement at face value and respond with an appropriate "action."

My mom has been doing that for about 2 years, but it is getting so much worse. She tells 2 of her grown (30's & 40's) grandchildren that she hates them because she has made up stories about them. She thinks they have stolen things out of her room. Things she never had. She spilled olive oil on her floor and they slipped and fell flat on her face. She says the daughter of my brother that she lives with came into her room and poured it all over the floor so that she would fall. She says they are trying to kill her! The grandson...she was spying on him and he came through the door about that time and was taking off his shirt. He almost ran into her, so she says he stuck out his chest and rammed her in the back. (she was trying to get away so he would not see her spying!) Now her back problems (she has had for years!) are blamed on him. She gave me a box of photo albums to hold for her and then divide up when she has gone, between the 5 siblings. She decided that she wanted them back and described hand-tooled leather albums. I pulled out the box and called her on the phone. She lives 3 hours away. I told her that there were no albums in the box that were hand-tooled. She started crying and asking who stole them? I tried telling her that I had never even opened the box, just placed them in the closet. She told me that when she was here (NOT) that she saw them spilled out all over the floor. She demanded that I find them and bring them to her! She called back and said that my brother was coming to pick them up! Now, she will not talk to me at all. She was leaving hateful messages, so I did not answer the phone. It's been a week and a half. She has never missed calling me for my birthday. It was 3 days ago. She told my brother that she didn't care and was not calling me. It does hurt, but it is the illness of Dementia. I have to keep telling myself that. Otherwise, she is totally stressing me out with all that she is doing and saying. These are just some of her confabulations!

Obviously, hallucinations and delusions are a part of the disease. You cannot talk someone out of it. You can only:
1. Employ Therapeutic Lying.
2. Use distraction techniques.
3. Jump into their reality.
You wonder how bad it can get? Well, it's going to get REALLY bad.
You should consider getting an official diagnosis, in case medication is needed.

By your comments, it is obvious that you have not read any of the many posts here, describing our loved-ones' hallucinations, delusions, combativeness, and other negative behaviors.

Consider joining the Alzheimer's Dementia Caregiver's FB Support Group, where you can get advice, support, and have a place to vent.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportgroup/?ref=share

Oh yes I have been getting this from my mum for a few years ago she is in the hospital just now and asked me to take up her bank cards when I asked what for she said to pay for this hotel that I am living in I said you are in the hospital and she said no I’m not I know where I am and it’s in a hotel I could write a book of things that she says I’m afraid it’s just their age now sadly

look up Teepa Snow on YT. she'll give you some handy advice for dealing with things and making less stress for you and your Mom.

I've always like this article

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/validation-method-for-dementia-calming-or-condescending-166707.htm

Ok, so I'm not making light of your situation, but would like to share a story relating to the hallucinations. In a Caregivers meeting, one lady said that her husband was seeing very little people running around trying to fix everything. Tool belts fastened to tiny waists, work boots, hard hats. Determined little guys with hammers running around the house. Another caregiver mentioned that her husband can no longer do little fix-it jobs around the house. My solution was to borrow the workers from the one's imagination, and get the others' work done. Well, it was funny at the time. Maybe you had to be there.

My 80-year-old ex-husband has been telling me for 5 years that he is growing new teeth to replace the ones he’s lost.  After his refusal to listen to me tell him it was impossible, I suggested he tell his dentist on the next visit.  I guess he did, because he didn’t talk about his teeth for several months, but the other day he again said his teeth were growing in.  Good for him. I’m not going to correct him anymore.

My mom's imagination was so fantastic that she convinced a visitor that she'd remarried just four months after losing her husband and soulmate of 66 years. The visitor trotted off to the editor off the local Rotary Club's newsletter, relayed the news, and the next issue contained an article congratulating Mom on her marriage to her high school boyfriend whom she hadn't seen since 1944 (and who in reality, had been dead since 2009).

It was fun fixing that trainwreck. It was all over my mom's small town within hours of the publication.

I have a folder full of Mom's tales about her adventures with her new husband. He worked for NASA and was frequently on the roof of the nursing home fixing satellites, and he also was the private pilot for the Kennedy family and once flew them to the funeral of one of the great-grandchildren while carrying the dead child in his arms. (It had been born with only half a head, you know, and it gave a great gasp in Dan's arms and expired while he held onto the steering wheel with the other hand).

The only good thing about Dan the Invisible Man, as we called him, is that he never left Mom alone. During the lockdown when we weren't able to visit in person, the caregivers told us that Dan was always with her, so she weathered the loneliness better than most of the other residents.

Don't argue facts with your mom. Try to live in her world.

Try to see the humor in all of it, I know it’s really hard to do - with her age and medical worries. But this is really a minor thing in the whole picture of her current life and health. Try to enjoy her stories, positive and negative!

If she makes a negative statement about someone else, in front of them, just shake your head (out of your Mom’s line of vision). I’m sure just about everyone has had some experience with something like this.

These are the stories you’ll remember years from now!

Why try to talk her out of anything as long as it is not harmful? Just gently mention that she might be remembering it wrong, and if she insists, so be it. Something like the dentist cutting her hair won't hurt her to believe it.

Hi, TakeFoxAway,
Yes, my spouse has conversations with "people" who are not there. Even hear him laughing and asking questions, sometimes in the wee hours when we are supposed to be sleeping.
On one occasion he went out the door with wallet in hand and entered a neighb's open garage door. Apparently he had told them that the "gang guys" were after him. Luckily they recognized what was happening and called the police to come check on him. (All this while I was only trying to have a poop!) TMI?😯
That was the only wandering off episode, thankfully. While in the loo, I heard him open the patio door, but of course did not realize he had walked off. By the time the police car arrived I was out there looking for him and met them out front. So they told me the location. Whew!
On another occasion, he suddenly began pushing me out of the bed, pressing against my back and sounded angry (about what I don't know, as we had been cuddling and I had dozed off). There was no sense in attempting to make sense of it and when he was somewhat calmed down I eventually went to lay down in another room.
Most of the time he is not that bad but when these things do happen it can be very sudden, with no apparent reason other than his imagination seemingly on FFW, like a reel to reel spool that has snapped and flew off the sprocket!
Guess in a way that makes me feel like the splicer/editor of this movie. Patch it and keep on keeping on.
He has also sometimes hidden his keys or wallet, misplaces his glasses, dentures, hearing aids, etc. I try to look at these times like an adult form of "Easter egg hunt". Only problem is, I never find any chocolate eggs.😐
All the best to you and yours.

Oh my - yes!

My mom is convinced that one of the other residents at her ALF is sneaking into her room to steal her stuff. Not only expensive stuff, mind you, but things like a valentine's card my dad gave her 50 years ago. And she knows who it is - she knows because she recognizes his fingerprints! She also used to refuse to go to the common area for meals because all the other residents whispered about her behind their hands (and with this, she demonstrates how they do it). Just recently a whole new group of ladies moved in who are much nicer and they invite her to join them instead of talking about her. According to the director, they've only gained one new lady recently and she eats in her room. She does tell me that Mom has finally started socializing with some of the other ladies.

Not too long ago, I took her to an eye appointment, but she had it stuck in her head that it was a dental appointment. I argued with her the whole way there that she was going to get her eyes checked but I hadn't won her over by the time we got there, so I decided I would just let them sort her out. After her visit was over, I asked her how her teeth looked and she reported back "No cavities and they checked my eyes and my feet too!"

I've learned through this group not to argue with her most of the time and just roll with whatever she says. Arguing agitates her and aggravates me and nothing is gained. The only exception for me is that if her delusion will erode her trust in me, I try to correct that (usually with no immediate result, but I hope that it sinks in somewhere in her subconscious). Otherwise, if we are on a grand adventure to see her (long dead) sister, then by golly - we are off to see her sister! It won't be long before she has moved on and forgotten our purpose so we can go on and go to the grocery store as I had planned. Meanwhile, she always has something to tell me about when I see her - hair appointments, visits with friends, speaking to her congressman, I never know what she's been doing while I've been living my mundane life.

What I find particularly ironic is that as a child, I often lived in a fantasy world (Heck - as a grown woman, I have a really good imagination!). My mother was always based solidly in reality so she spent a whole lot of time trying to re-orient me to a reality I really didn't care to participate in. Now that the roles are reversed, I really want to remind her of my childhood days, but I know it would do no good.

This happens with my 92 yr old mom as well. She tends to embellish things with things that never happened. I just try not to argue as it upsets her.

My husband's imagination is beyond comprehension. He thinks we are wealthy (I wish). He thinks we are divorced; he and his new "wife" own planes, helicopters and numerous properties. He believes he is an architect, doctor, pilot, etc. He thinks he needs 7 more surgeries, then he will be good as new. His new "wife" will be here any day to take him "home."
He seems to switch back and forth between two worlds.
He believes he has been places and done things that are not real.
When he mentions some of these things and I say I don't remember, he thinks there is something wrong with me.
He vehemently denies the doctor's diagnosis of Alzheimers and says he is suing the doctors for erroneous diagnosis.