I am worried that my DH will not settle down in permanent care. He has his phone and calls every half hour. It was the same with his two previous respite stays
This is because with FTD they don’t forget and DH is also obsessive. Staff have advised me not to answer phone or visit for at least a week but I know this will not stop.
Has anybody experienced the person in care never settling in? I would appreciate advice
If they won’t comply, go over their heads!
Two things that did help. One was a guest book. Staff asked all visitors to sign it. & maybe leave a note, both when Mom was awake and if they found her sleeping...including date and time. This way family and friends could show that she had been visited, even though she thought she had been alone.
Have doctor order sedative as a Regular med, not a PRN. That way she won't be asked of she wants it now, but just told it's RX doc ordered. She can still refuse, but will probably get some doses.
Get her address book..hopefuly some friends are online. Ask them to send funny stories, pictures and jokes to read to your Mom. This way you can change the subject. She won't protest hearing from dear friends for very long..ignore her when she does. Remind her she is being impolite not listening when they took the time to write or send pictures. This worked well with my dad.
And yes, use silence setting. You might need to get a cheap 2 nd line for doctors or staff use to reach you...sleep and time to take care of life's chores is important.
I know how hard this must be on you and your husband. Remember, most importantly, they will find a way to help him better cope, which is scary because of the strength of the meds and how much more he will sleep and relax. Also important to remember is that he would not want to be feeling this way either. Taking someone home is not a viable option.
My mom was eventually kicked out of memory care. She was on hospice at the time and they recommended a much smaller care home where the caregiver/resident ratio was much lower. And it was cheaper and would have been a better fit for her from the beginning.
Mom also had to have 24/7 caregivers, an additional cost, to keep her engaged and hopefully out of trouble.
Best wishes to you and hubby. Stay strong, kind of a emotional detachment, and have faith that the pros will be able to find a solution. Trust them.
If the facility will not let him return, do not take him home! Use the social workers to find another facility, maybe a care home?
35 residents only each with their own room and bathroom
It is a small government subsidised residential care unit Not sure at this stage if this will be a permanent placement or just rehab until a permanent placement can be made outside of the hospital system
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/common-caregiving-abbreviations-and-acronyms-435589.htm
Or when someone sets up a new profile, send a welcome email containing the link to the acronym article.
I find the reply function very irritating. Unless one checks replies it is often difficult to follow a conversation. It also opens up an opportunity for undesirable arguing, correcting and rudeness.
He will not be coming home. He has settled down a lot His brother drove down from Canberra to see him. Seems to understand. Basically a fact finding mission. DH Now hates me. Says I put him there to get rid of him. Blah. Blah. Wants me out of his house. Wants his money. Wants a divorce. Brother has gone home ( didn’t bother to see me). I guess we will see. I am sure his family will have more to say
He is having a tough time which means that you’re having it rough too. I’m so sorry. Hope it gets better soon for both of you.