My husband passed away after a brief illness almost 8 months ago. I know that I was distracted for the first several months with a lot to do, and now that things have settled down, it's mentally more difficult. We were married for forty one years and our marriage bond was extremely solid, even though at that point we fought constantly and there couldn't be two more opposite people. He always had low level depression and was overweight pretty much since we met. He also had major positives that you rarely see in a person if ever. He was an extremely good provider and left me financially secure. There wasn't a stronger Christian that I know of, and was just fine going to Heaven. Is there any suggestion that I could keep in mind to do daily so when I do become extremely sad and not caring about much, would help? Thinking about him makes it worse and my Dr prescribed something already when he was in hospice that I still take.
My experience with grief is that there are times it is worse and times it is easier. 3 months after, 6 months and especially 9 months are hard The one year and so on. Special days are triggers - birthdays, anniversaries, holidays are tough. I see you are coming up for 9 months after and I have found that the pain is very raw at 9 months.
It is important to express your grief - tears, journaling, talking with others, finding ways to honour your grief and the one you lost. Some buy a special candle and burn it at times when grief is hard, some play meaningful music, some create a collage representing what's on their mind. Some pant a tree in memory or create a special place win their garden. Going to a grief group can help too.
Coming here and sharing with us is good as well. A little exercise - a walk for example can help when you are feeling down, a cup if your favourite coffee or tea, a hot bubble bath or some other treat can get you through those difficult times. Don't be afraid to cry. It feels bad to begin with and like you will never stop, but you will and it is healing. (((((((hugs))))))