My brother and sister in law have moved in with us, so someone is here while i work. He takes insulin and several meds, doesn't take care of himself at all, but all I ever hear is He is ready for them to move out, I have explained to him why they are here, but that doesn't help either, every day its an argument. They are a God send for me, but how can I handle the constant daily talk and arguing about them being here?
I'm assuming that you HAVE to work to keep up with living expenses or maybe it is your only "sane" time away from home. Whatever the case, I would suggest you NOT quit your job to stay home with your husband. As someone above said, you can't be productive at a home based job if you're also a primary care giver too. The two don't go together. If your brother and wife are working out, great. It's a win-win situation. Please inform yourself on dementia so YOU know how to respond. The folks on this board are right, you can't reason with a demented person. I know that you've communicated with your husband in a certain way for many years. But that is not the case anymore because he isn't the same person anymore. You need to change your STYLE of communication to suit him. He can't process information like he used to. Change your response from explaining he needs the care to something else (you feel better with them there) then "redirect" him and drop the discussion. You've probably never "shut down" a conversation with your husband before and it can feel real strange, like you aren't giving him the chance to verbalize his side. Learn to ignore what he says, (kind of like what we do with our small children constantly asking for toys or candy). This isn't fun and it feels very disrespectful but it's necessary so you don't waste your time arguing.
Try anything to get him to leave his room. Does he like to be in the garden? Or help cooking? Do you have a pet he can play with in the living room? If you have a TV in his room, maybe it can "break" and he'll have to watch the one in the family room. Ask him to "fix" something (that isn't broken) in another room. Then you can applaud him when it works.
Your husband is so young for this awful disease. I'm so sorry you were cheated out of your "golden years" together. Now, it's all about what "works" and how you can stay sane through it all. God bless you and yours.
I'm happy for you that you have help. :-)