Have you been able to escape an abusive or mentally ill elderly parent?

I lived away from my mom for the good part of 20 years in young adulthood. I made the mistake of moving in with her when I returned to my hometown five years ago. I thought it would be a good idea to build savings to pay off my car note and have a down payment for a house.

Then I made an even bigger mistake of buying a house two years after living with her and allowing her to sell her condo to move in with me. Her condo was in an area she didn't like and she didn't get along with her neighbors. She is currently 77 years old and has lived in the house I bought for the last three years.

It took me a while to realize that the "bad temper" she always had was likely mental illness, either bipolar or CPTSD and it seemed to have gotten worse with age. She is always angry and cursing. She also has bad hearing but believes her hearing is good enough to hear what neighbors say about her. She thinks people are talking about her when it is almost impossible for her to hear what people say from a few feet away. She's made enemies of several of our neighbors and I'm constantly worried that she will start a new conflict or say something out of line with a neighbor.

In the three years she has lived with me she has regularly hit me, criticized me, and called me names. She hates my house and always says I was stupid to buy the house even though it's a fine house that occasionally needs standard repairs. She's called me every name in the book - a coward, b***h, and more. I try to ignore her stories about the neighbors but her world seems to revolve around what the neighbors say or think about her.

Her doctor knows about this and tried prescribing her Risperidone. For a few months, she was getting better on 1mg. Then her doctor made the mistake of increasing her dosage to 2mg which caused side effects. She stopped taking it altogether and refused to go back to 1mg. The only hope I had left of living in a peaceful home went away the day her doctor increased her dosage. She was showing improvement on 1mg and I would do anything to get her back on her meds, but I know it is a lost cause. She has accused me and her doctor of conspiring against her and wanting her to be a zombie so I can control her. I have thought about hiding the medication in her food and drink but have not tried doing so.

I've decided that I can't live with her anymore. She also says she hates living with me and prays she wins the lottery so she can move out. I have around 2 more years until my student loans are forgiven, which will give me enough money to buy a small place for each of us. I feel fortunate that besides the stress of my mother, my life is fairly good. I have a good six figure job. I can save and will have enough equity in my current house along with the modest amount of money my mother made from her condo to get two places after my student loans are forgiven. We live in an area where we can find a place that isn't too close to neighbors. I am going to make sure the place I buy for her has privacy so she can keep to herself and not cause problems with anyone too close to her. However, I hate that I will have to wait 2-3 years before I can get away from her. I can't believe that I've lasted 5 years total with her insanity.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their abusive or mentally ill parent out of your home? Were you financially well off enough to buy your parent a small home, apartment, or condo? Did you decide to rent a place for them? Or did you force them into assisted living against their will?

My mother is mentally ill but is physically healthy and is not demented. I took her to a neurologist several times and she was able to pass their tests. She will never move into assisted living if or until she is no longer cognitively aware of her surroundings. There are many days I wish she would disappear from my life forever. She's a sick person who is the biggest cause of stress in my life.