Mom lives alone in home and says nighttime care is too expensive. Mom wants to stay in her home with her dog and has been unwilling to have "the conversation" about considering moving to ALF and selling her house. Siblings feel she can make decisions for herself. She has dementia but is not declared of incapacity. She is depressed and lonely most of the time, and says she is ready to die. She allowed me to set up hired care givers to come to fix simple meals or take her to the doctor. I live 8 hours away, visit every month and am POA. She DOES have the money but does not want to spend it on her own care. She thinks it would be hiring someone to sleep in her house and is not rationale about safety concerns. Siblings feel that ALF is out of the question because Mom doesn't want that.
Again, my apology.
Your mom wants to stay in her home. Most people do. If she wants to continue to live independently she will need some assistance like an aide who stays overnight to make sure your mom is ok. That's the compromise. You and your siblings will back off if she gets someone in the home to assist her. That's how you frame it.
As far as AL goes, you can't force your mom to move there. You can't physically carry her on your back and plop her down in an AL facility. If she continues to live at home she'll probably fall and end up in a NH anyway so let her hang onto her independence for as long as she can---with in-home help.