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Frenchy, yes, yes, it is a TERRIBLE thing to lose your mind and your independence. And it is an equally terrible thing to have a loved one in that condition!

The behaviors you describe are all typical of dementia. I'm not sure how much of a consolation it is but many (most?) people with dementia go through periods of paranoia and think someone is stealing from them, and that their spouse is unfaithful.

Who is managing your husband's treatment plan? Is that person very knowledgeable about dementia? There are medications that can be tried for some of the symptoms, even though there is no cure. Has hubby been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?

Have things worsened since that 6 hours of help was allocated? Ask for a needs review. And also start exploring the options for long-term care. Even if medications can reduce your husband's agitation and improve his state of mind and behavior, he is still a dead weight that poses physical challenges for one person taking care of him at home.

I know a woman whose husband had LBD (pretty much what your husband has) and was bedbound. She intended to care for him at home forever. She had to have back surgery and she placed him temporarily in a nursing home for respite care. When she saw that they transferred him using 2 people and a lift device she realized why her back went out, and that she could not bring him home. She visited him a couple times of day. He assumed that when she kissed him goodnight she was going down the hall to her own room. Placement was better for both of them, and actually improved their relationship.
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