My mother-in-law is becoming increasingly more disagreeable every day. She refuses to take her medicine, refuses to get up out of her rocking chair, refuses to eat (or conversely eats way too much), and screams and yells at my husband (her son) and myself for no good reason at all. (At least in my mind. In her mind I'm sure it's a good reason.) She's been diagnosed with NPH, depression, and diabetes. We go to the doctor monthly, but this month I had to literally drag her to the appointment. We also have three dogs, but she yells and screams at them just like she does with us. I'm at my wit's end. No one else in the family will even talk to her at this point. She and my sister in law disagree with each other so badly that she hasn't seen her grandchildren in almost a year and I know this adds to her depression. I love my mother in law and consider her one of my best friends but I just can't handle her constant anger and bitterness any more. What can I do????
I assume it is mostly the NPH that has changed her personality, though the depression isn't helping any. I don't know much about that kind of brain damage. Do her doctors suggest any treatments or drugs she hasn't tried? How is her depression being managed? With the diabetes I worry about her irregular eating habits (and I'll bet you worry, too).
I wonder if it would be possible for her to go to a psych ward for a few days, while they determine a combination of drugs that might help?
As I am sure you know, this is a medical problem and not a matter of MIL suddenly hating everyone and the dogs! So I would try to pursue any medical solutions that seem feasible.
And consider the possibility that you will have an easier time remaining friends with her and interacting in more normal ways with her if she were in a care center and you visited often. Perhaps even SIL would allow the grandchildren to visit in that kind of structured environment.
This is a heartbreaking situation. You love her. You want her happy, or at least happier. And you have so little control over that. Whatever else goes on, remember that this is Not Your Fault, and keep guilt totally out of the picture.